Gather around kiddos, I'm going to teach today. It's time that we discuss appropriate behavior and conversation for a first date. That is, of course, if your plan is to earn a second date. This is fairly simple, and I'm sure that everyone will be able to master this. 1. Please refrain from "trying a new look" on a first date. Showing up with baggy jeans, a large gold cross on a Mr.-T style chain, and ball cap with a hoodie pulled over the top is not acceptable if you are not planning to audition for Jersey Shore or running of to play in the hood after paying the bill. 2. It's not a good idea to accuse your date of releasing a noxious gas from her hind quarters and then telling her that she needs to "pull that opening closed". This is an especially bad idea if the aforementioned date did not, in fact, commit that atrocity. The same is true of accusing her of consuming illegal substances while waiting for you to get arrive. 3. A single beer does not co...

One of the more interesting parts of dating in my thirties has been the ex-files. At this stage in life, it's inevitable that my date and I both have stories of dates (and partners) past. These stories seep out over time, and you know I'm a sucker for the story about anyone's life. I like to listen to them. After hearing about "the one who got away" and "the one who never left" and "the one who called six times in a row at two in the morning crying," I wondered about my story. What does my "ex-file" say about me? I can't even answer that question because it's entirely framed in the perspective of the other person. Like everyone else, I like to think that my exes remember me as a beautiful, generous, and fun woman. Yet, I know there's a possibility that they frame me in the light of my flaws. Sometimes I wish I could be in the room listening to the new woman as she hears the story of "this woman I dated". None of ...

A few weeks ago I spent some time in one of the most interesting, uncomfortable conversations of my life. I have never before talked with someone who probed as deeply as this man did into the far recesses of my brain. I spent the rest of the afternoon deep in thought trying to recover the emotional side of my being. I've since been told that this is what it's like to talk to me. I mention this because I've been very aware lately of how my communication style is very different from most everyone else's. Some people call it being direct. I've called it "turning my brain inside out". Today I found a new description: "for the sake of expressing your truth". That's it. As I roll around this line in my head, I can't help but wonder why more people cannot grasp this concept. I know the answer, but it still doesn't seem adequate. You see, truth is truth. I've talked openly about going through intensive therapy sessions. I've told peop...

Have you ever read the short story, The Lady or the Tiger? The language is rather archaic, but the premise of the story will haunt you for weeks. A man and princess are madly in love, but her father doesn't want them together. He treats the man as a criminal for loving his daughter and punishes him by placing him in an arena and forcing him to choose one of two doors. Behind one door is a fierce tiger that will immediately eat him. A beautiful woman waits behind the other door, ready to marry him. The princess, of course, finds out what is behind each door, and she signals to her lover which door to choose. That's when the story ends, and you, as the reader, must decide whether she allowed her lover to live the rest of their lives with someone else or die. I've always maintained that she watched him die that day. I find it hard to believe that someone who has experienced such passionate torrents of love could ever continue life knowing that the former beloved is still brea...