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Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

As a teenager, I loved the Psalmist's words: "I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. All your works are good; I know this full well." Every time I thought my nose was too big or my hair too blonde or not blonde enough or never combed the right way—you get the point—I would look in the mirror and remind myself that I was a work of the creator of the universe. Why is it that something so real to me during that time was eventually swept under the rug of my own insecurities? How did it lose meaning?

These words are alive and new within me today. For too long, I've been comparing myself with other people, making mental notes about how I measure up to their good qualities. I've kept lists of the traits I want to model in other people. Out shopping with my sister, I'd take one look at her and chastise myself for not always wearing matching shoes and belt. (Note to self: buy more belts.) I totally bought the line when my dear friend told me that even if you're going out to buy chewing gum, you needed to make sure you had on makeup and a perfect coif because you never knew who you'd run into. (Note to self: buy more ponytail holders.) After dinner at a friend's house, I'd feel guilty that my kitchen floor wasn't spotless—and I didn't have a three year old to chase around. (Note to self: buy a mop.)

I couldn't seem to get it right. And there's a good reason for that—that's not the way God created me. My synapses don't jump in those places. It gets even better: that's okay! You see, God knew just what He was doing all along. He created each of us to fit into His master plan. We're all pieces that are meant to work together. I don't have to be ashamed that I bought dog food today wearing a bandana over my ponytail, large hoop earrings, denim capris, flip flops, and a cardigan. (But I did have my mascara on!) I don't need to do the "walk of shame" on my way to the refrigerator. I'm not going to fight the tears the next time I see fish heads in the seafood department.

My soul is an artist. I'm late to appointments because I stop to soak in a ray of sunshine or laugh at quirky bumper sticker or talk to someone for too long. I don't like cluttered spaces (but a little dirt never hurts). Flowers make me smile. Old t.v. shows are my favorite comforter. I don't like potato chips or fruit (but I can never have enough peanut butter or cheese). I don't get lost even when I'm in unfamiliar territory. I feel deeply. I think way too much. Most people feel at home with me when we first meet. I love being on a stage. I doubt myself way too much. I'm extremely intelligent and have exceptional instincts. And there's so much more that makes my dear one roll his eyes!

This is such a freeing thought. I'm through wasting time trying to be something I'm not. It's time for all of us to raise the mantle and charge forward to change this whole "equality" nonsense that has pervaded our society. I finally found the ultimate equality today in realizing that I am truly unique...and only in celebrating that uniqueness will I be fully free.

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