Skip to main content

A Gypsy Life

Forgive me.

I'm going to do some thinking here. Some sorting. Some processing through the process of writing this blog.

The last week and a half has been a whirlwind for me. Thoughts and emotions have swirled in my head. I'm sitting here still letting them wander around my conscience and hoping they will eventually find a place to rest.

A few days ago I had a conversation with my dear Lawrence who told me that he thinks I'd finally find happiness if I embrace the gypsy in me and live my life with the reckless abandon I seem to crave. This cardboard box of traditional living is certainly worn, and the duct tape I've been using to hold it together is separating along the seams.

But what next?

I have some serious questions to answer in the upcoming weeks. Deep down, I already know the answers, and I have no doubt that the people around me will question my sanity as I make them.

And you know what?

None of it really matters at the end of the day. I fully intend to find myself one day sitting on my front porch--long after my body is sagging and wrinkled--with a smile on my face. When I'm left with the memories I've made from a life I've created and re-invented over and over, I'll know that I truly lived.

This is life not by the rule book. I'm tossing it out. I'm scared out of my mind by the thought of this because so much of my life has been dictated by it.

But I think it's the only way for me.

Comments

Christy said…
From one gypsy to another - as long as the opportunity is there or you can make it be there - move, go with it, dance to your own song. I think the biggest regrets are rooted in the things we didn't do.
5:17 PM
frabjouspoet said…
I really want to talk to you about what's going on. I've had to do some shifting in my head about the current situation, and it's one of those things that not everyone gets. I know you do.
5:39 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Restless Soul

Someone recently told me that I have an impulsive streak. ("Just an observation, not a criticism.") My initial reaction was to vehemently deny that statement despite the fact that I had just confessed to walking into Total Wine and buying $200 worth of wine just because it seemed like a good idea at 11:00 on a Thursday morning. Me? Impulsive? Don't answer that, especially if you know the truth. I shared this with my therapist yesterday and his eyes lit up when I said, "I think I have a restless soul." The fact that his eyes lit up is significant since we spend most of my sessions arguing with each other about ideas like whether or not a book he recommended is filled with psychobabble bullsh*t or why I should do a bit more thinking with my heart instead of my head. For once, he agreed with me and quickly pointed out that this is not necessarily a bad trait. In fact, it's what stirs my needs to explore and to write. It's also the reason why I don't, by...
5 comments
Read more

So Not the Party Girl

In an effort to be more social, I agreed to participate in the first annual cookie exchange at work this morning. I've never done an cookie exchange before, and that fact alone didn't bode well for my social phobia, perfectionist tendencies, and leeriness about eating food from other people's kitchens. But I persevered. My grandmother recommended her favorite cookie recipe (which is actually a cake recipe--cut into bars). Last night I whipped up a delightful batch and licked the icing bowl clean...after I spread the bulk of it on the cookies. I wrapped everything in some plastic bowls and topped them with a Christmas bow. All was well until I was 1 dozen cookies short. At 10:45 last night I drove 7 miles to the nearest store (Walgreens) and then drove another mile to the Winn-Dixie for powdered sugar. I washed dishes as I listened to Letterman, and I was finally in bed around 12:30. And up again at 4:45. The cookie exchange was DELIGHTFUL. I laughed as I sipped black coffee...
6 comments
Read more

Gators and Bees and Snakes...Oh My!

Let me preface this by pointing out that we have a deaf, epileptic Great Dane, a one-eyed cat, and a slew of young cats outside that we just haven't been able to part with. Love for animals abounds here. It seems we have a critter fest going on around here lately. In mid-September there was the Great Goose Massacre courtesy of a visiting alligator. Two weeks ago we had the Invasion of the Bees that left nearly 100 dead bees in its wake. Last week was the Demise of the Rattler. Alan heard a strange sound when he walked out on the porch last Sunday. He thought at first that it was a large dragonfly caught in the screen. It turns out that it was a rattle snake, coiled up and ready to strike. He says that he will never get the rattling sound out of his head, but I think he was a bit more freaked out at the thought of watching one of the kittens get struck by the snake. (Bonsai was apparently completely willing to risk his life to investigate the snake.) His first words to me when he pi...
5 comments
Read more