Skip to main content

Faulty Cameras

"It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds."

This line is from a song that never fails to make me cry. I asked my students to analyze this line today, and their responses surprised me. It seems to me that I would have been able to connect to this idea even at the tender age of 16.

But then again, that's a memory dependent on a faulty camera in my mind.

It's a scary thought to think that I have the ability to distort the truth that once existed in the world. I'd like to think that I'm evolved enough to let the past rest on its own merits. Is it even possible? Am I--are we--all destined to shift reality in our minds?

I don't know.

What I do know is that the concept of time is very real in my life right now. It's understandable, given that certain experiences are bound by the seconds of a calendar year. The struggle, for me, is the space between wanting to embrace the seconds--as fleeting as they may be--instead of judging their value on the sole quality of how they move me closer to a goal.

But that's a story for another day.

For now, I'm still reveling in a delightful weekend filled with poetry--the written and spoken and experienced kinds. I'm feeling the pains of exhaustion that follow a whirlwind of activity. I'm dreaming of some weekend getaways to explore the world around me. I'm deeply grateful to a certain airline and its ridiculous layovers. I'm processing the passage of time marked through the lens of courthouse documents, Facebook updates, and journal entries.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Restless Soul

Someone recently told me that I have an impulsive streak. ("Just an observation, not a criticism.") My initial reaction was to vehemently deny that statement despite the fact that I had just confessed to walking into Total Wine and buying $200 worth of wine just because it seemed like a good idea at 11:00 on a Thursday morning. Me? Impulsive? Don't answer that, especially if you know the truth. I shared this with my therapist yesterday and his eyes lit up when I said, "I think I have a restless soul." The fact that his eyes lit up is significant since we spend most of my sessions arguing with each other about ideas like whether or not a book he recommended is filled with psychobabble bullsh*t or why I should do a bit more thinking with my heart instead of my head. For once, he agreed with me and quickly pointed out that this is not necessarily a bad trait. In fact, it's what stirs my needs to explore and to write. It's also the reason why I don't, by...
5 comments
Read more

Gators and Bees and Snakes...Oh My!

Let me preface this by pointing out that we have a deaf, epileptic Great Dane, a one-eyed cat, and a slew of young cats outside that we just haven't been able to part with. Love for animals abounds here. It seems we have a critter fest going on around here lately. In mid-September there was the Great Goose Massacre courtesy of a visiting alligator. Two weeks ago we had the Invasion of the Bees that left nearly 100 dead bees in its wake. Last week was the Demise of the Rattler. Alan heard a strange sound when he walked out on the porch last Sunday. He thought at first that it was a large dragonfly caught in the screen. It turns out that it was a rattle snake, coiled up and ready to strike. He says that he will never get the rattling sound out of his head, but I think he was a bit more freaked out at the thought of watching one of the kittens get struck by the snake. (Bonsai was apparently completely willing to risk his life to investigate the snake.) His first words to me when he pi...
5 comments
Read more

Frustrated Readers Make Great Fans

I haven’t felt this betrayed by a story line since Neo learned that not only was he not the first person to challenge the Matrix, but he was part of the plan all along. Even though I was sorely disappointed in what appeared to be a cop-out story line, I can understand the logic in that disappointing plot twist. I can’t say the same for Stephenie Meyer’s conclusion to her wildly popular “Twilight” series. Look, I’ve read each of the first three books at least twice, and my grad school entrance paper was a character analysis of Edward Cullen. I loved these books. I read “New Moon” and “Eclipse” in a single day. I’ve been discussing the plot lines and characters with my students for the last two years. It was a long wait for this final book. And a huge part of me wishes I was still waiting. It was that much of a letdown. I’m still debating just how to tiptoe through my inevitable conversations with students about this part of the “Twilight” saga. My students were embarrassed enough by th...
5 comments
Read more