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Just a man

It's been a while.

I've been overwhelmed with a life that has been filled with preparing and teaching lessons, keeping up with master's work, and all the other minute details of my life, and sharing as much time as possible with the amazing man who has stolen my heart.

This relationship has been different from the start, and I have learned much about myself and the nature of relationships. I don't talk about the nuances of our relationship with everyone in my inner circle because I'm trying to trust my instinct for a change. I've discovered that I need more attention than I initially thought and being vulnerable is the most frightening and most rewarding thing I've ever been.

It's been a precarious place for me--seeking the balance between moving forward in the discovery process and being willing to lose if that's the end result. I've done a fabulous job carving out a life for myself after a very painful marriage and divorce. This new chapter is an interesting process, and not without its own struggles.

Last week, I sat at my desk before the first bell and looked at the pictures of us resting on my desk. The thought occurred to me, "He's so beautiful." This was immediately followed with, "He's just a man."

I found such comfort in that thought. As amazing as this man is...for all the wonder and joy he has brought to my life...he's human. And I'm human. He will disappoint me. He is not able to meet all the needs in my life. He cannot be the sole source of my happiness and existence. The same is true of my role in his life. That realization opened a new level of appreciation for him and what we share.

This came up in our first argument:
Well, I guess now you know you're in love with a human.

Obviously...and so are you.

As he says, "It's all part of the game of love." When I asked if he was willing to play it with me, he replied, "I AM playing it with you."

Seriously, how can you not love that?

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