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Questions Asked and Answered

I like certainty. I crave truth. I thrive on authenticity. I think that's one of the reasons I like kids so much. They have a way of carving right through the b.s. and digging in to the heart of the matter.

As we sat at Dunkin Donuts this weekend, the English-speaking 8-year-old asked me, "What's your name again?" The Brazilian looked across the table from her and responded, "Every time you see her you ask her her name five times. When are you going to remember it?"

She sat there quietly for a moment before answering, "I've only seen her one other time...not like that other girl who was there at your birthday."

I laughed internally because she confirmed what I had suspected about his three month absence and knew would not ever actually get a straight answer about. The Brazilian shifted in his seat, visibly uncomfortable and shot me sideways glance with a quick, "Don't listen to her. She's crazy and doesn't know what she's talking about."

We all know the truth.

Like I said, I have no issues with truth. I'd like to tell you that I was perfectly okay with that dialogue, but I must be truthful. I was a bit shuffled by that revelation, not so much because it meant that he had abandoned me for someone else. After all, I am a grown woman. I've been in several relationships. I even had a few going on at that particular time when I first met him. I expect the same from him.

Rather, I was rattled by the questions of how he would respond to this. You'd be a fool to not figure out how much I like this man...how he makes me smile...how he makes me laugh...how the fact that he can go from being completely silly to completely intellectual in a manner of seconds makes my heart leap.

As I've processed this exchange, I saw just how much I respect myself and my approach to my life. I know women who would completely write him off for this. Perhaps I should, but my life path has been less than straight and narrow. That's why I don't expect anything different from those around me.

For now, it's a fantastic story that illustrates again the need for truthfulness with ourselves and others. And I still really like the image of his uncomfortableness in that moment. I think he was wondering about my reaction just as much as I was his. Let's face it. On some level, knowing that someone is a little worried about how their actions affect you tells a lot about where you stand with them.

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