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Just Go With It

I know that rollercoasters are not the typical locations for introspection, but it was for me today. As a kid, I loved thrill rides...anything that involved stomach-churning twists and drops and the wind in my face. As I aged, that thrill slowly faded. Would I fall to my death? My head might explode. Was it possible for my heart to survive the pressure? I succumbed to the what-ifs, leaving me willing to board a rollercoaster only to "save face."

Today, I boarded a rollercoaster with a friend who adores thrill rides. She smiled and danced while we waited in line while I smiled and tried desperately to conceal my fear. I pulled my restraint as tight as possible and prayed on the slow ride to the top. During the first drop, I squelched my heaving stomach and spent the ride reminding myself that it was almost over. We walked away, and I was relieved that that part of the day was over...until she suggested we ride again.

This time we stepped in line for the front row, a spot even more terrifying. On the way up, I decided to just throw myself into the moment and see what happened. After all, there wasn't much I could do at that point but trust the laws of gravity and inertia. What a different experience! The wind blew through my hair. I kicked my feet out into the open air. My screams were from delight instead of terror. It was so much fun that we immediately got in line again. Yes, I rode the rollercoaster three times in row..and didn't puke!

What would happen if we approached life like this? So much of what we face is out of our control. Life marches on in spite of our hopes and dreams and aspirations. We lose jobs and friends and family. Relationships morph. Tragedy strikes without warning...and sometimes with warnings that don't match the significance of the consequences. And yet, we tend to cling to the fantasy that we've got it all under control. We even plaster smiles on our faces that mask our inner turmoil and fear that we're the only ones not "getting it."

It's downright terrifying to even consider letting go, but I wonder if we have any other option that makes life worth living. The twists and turns are going to come. They even serve a purpose in our lives. We can live in fear of them or deny them and deal with the resulting anxiety. Or we can open our arms and face them with abandon, embracing and (gasp) enjoying the feeling of the wind against our cheek and free, dancing feet.

Trusting something intangible takes real guts. Yet it's worth the risk. Each moment we have is meant to be experienced...not managed. So give in. Scream your head off when your scared. Cry when you're heart is broken. Laugh out loud when you find bliss. That's where you'll find peace in the journey.

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