For the last few weeks, I've been reading a book called, For Parents Only . It's appeared in my life at an interesting time. This is my fifth year as a middle school teacher, so I've seen first hand the delightful changes adolescence brings on a daily basis. My oldest nephew officially became a teenager this year, and it's been interesting to see these very same changes in him—and listening to my sister's side of things. Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice have written an amazing book. Don't let the title mislead you. If you live with or work with teenagers, you should read this book. The writers conducted a nationwide survey of teens about their thoughts on everything from rules to rebellion and what's going on inside their head. I enjoyed many of the comments, especially the kids' insights into the way their parents discipline (or don't discipline) effectively. In my classroom, I've since found myself stopping before writing out a detention slip to ...

"What's going on with you today? I should not have to ask you to stop talking more than once." "It's your fault. You put me in a group where you knew I would talk." "Okay, so do you want me to move you out of that group?" "I'm not saying that!" (Slumps down in chair.) "Then what are you saying?" "I'm saying that you knew I would talk in that group and you put me there anyway. I don't know why you did that." "You talk in every group I put you in." "See, you know that. Why did you put me there?" "Okay. So you're gonna talk no matter what if you're in that group?" "Yes." "Okay. So if you're gonna talk in that group, then do you think you need to move out of that group so you don't get in any more trouble?" "I'm not telling you what to do! You're the professional!" "I'm glad you know that." (Suppressing a laugh.)

I sat down at a table today with four teens who are still learning English. Our goal was to learn the past tense of some irregular verbs, like drive/drove and eat/ate. Most of us who grew up in this country take for granted the fact that we know delightful grammar rules like this. This is often a struggle for these kids, and if you ever tried to learn a foreign language as an adult, you can sympathize. So like I said, I sat down at the table today and started off with, "Today, we're going to talk about verbs. What is a verb?" Fingers snapped in the air, accompanied by several "ums" and desperate appeals to the ceiling tiles. In their Spanish-mumbling, I heard the correct answer—in Spanish—so I asked them to teach me. It wasn't enough to just tell me "accion", they taught me an entire sentence: "Verbos es una palabra que espresa accion." I butchered it. They corrected me. One boy fought to keep his hands from molding my jaw into the proper...

Here's a discussion I had today with some seventh-going-into-eighth graders getting ready to make strawberry shortcake. "When you get into your groups, assign a new role. You cannot be the same thing you were the last time. That means everyone needs a different job." "Miss, I was the reader last time, and they are making me be the reader again." "Well, you can't be the reader again. Mary, what is your job right now?" "I'm the mixer." "Okay, well Sarah was the reader last time. She cannot be the reader again." "But I'm the mixer." "Fine, but Sarah cannot be the reader again." "But I'm the mixer and Donna's the supply person. I was the supply person last time, and Donna was the mixer last time." "Okay, but Sarah was the reader last time, and she cannot be the reader again today." "I'm confused." "I don't care if you're confused or not. Go back and c...