I feel like a blog bum. Part of me wants to just put up an audio of crickets chirping. Lately, though, my days are filled with bleary eyed-dinner making and box unpacking and way too many decisions about whether or not to keep the sculpture I made in my college ceramics class of an egg sitting in a tree that actually looks more like a certain part of the male anatomy than the surrealist art is was supposed to be. (It's in a trash box right now.) On top of this, I still have no Internet at home, so my typical wee hours of the morning posting time is mute (or is it blind?). There's a lot in my head right now, but not enough time to process it. Last night, I took the puppy out for a hike. In my front yard. We walked across the road frontage and I stared at the stars. The night sky is one of the best features of my new neighborhood. We're surrounded by a giant farm and wildlife preserves, so the sky is incredible! When I was a kid, I used to drag a blanket outside and lay down...

Last night I had a beautiful reminder of why I chose this job. We had our first family literacy night, and I had some much fun manning the bookmark station. I love talking to the younger siblings of my students and watching my students roll their eyes as I talk to their parents. I felt like I was part of life again because at it's core life is messy and beautiful and chaotic all at once. That pretty much sums up the evening. While driving home, I was in tears. Praying. These students I have this year are frustrating me. Although a lot of my frustration stems from my dislocation at home, these kids do have some very real struggles. Many of their struggles are similar to my own when I was their age. I find myself at a loss for words or ideas several times each day. (I'll share some stories at some point.) All I could say last night was, "How am I supposed to do this?" The words echoed back, "You have to love them." Right now I really identify with Jesus' c...

I packed my china today. It's all wrapped in the guest bathroom towels and tucked away in boxes. I was high enough on that accomplishment that I packed up the kitchen cabinet filled with coffee cups and stowed our coats and jackets in a suitcase. I'm spreading out the packing and taking my time. This seems to ease my sadness at leaving my home. I do love my home, especially now that the carpet has been replaced and the broken furniture has been laid to rest. Here is the current version complete with my favorite rocking chair in front of the bay windows. Right now I'm marveling at how God speaks to us. I've mentioned that I know this move is the right thing to do. The circumstances so far have been mind boggling, to say the least, and so much has happened in the moments when I thought there was no way for it to all come together. Even now, the woman we are buying the property from is steadily moving out. My greatest fear, though, has been saying good-bye to the place tha...

Just a few weeks ago, my life seemed in such a state of disarray, I couldn't drag myself out of bed in the morning. The school year was wrapping up. My much anticipated vacation was canceled. We couldn't seem to find a home we both liked. Our bank account was about to reach the point in the year when it would only decrease. The strain of holding "it" all together was just a little too overwhelming so I slept. And slept. And slept. If you know me, that's all you really need to know because you understand that if I'm getting more than six hours of sleep a night, something is wrong. The time I wasn't sleeping, I was praying that everything would work out exactly the way it was supposed to. I wasn't worried because I knew it would. It seems like all those little loose ends are finally tying themselves together. This week, I've managed to find two positions in the area where we will be moving. I applied for a loan so we can purchase the property we'...

If you wrote your life's story, what pieces would you intentionally skip? I know you have them. I have several blank spaces, thank you. They are chunks of life that I'd often rather see slide away into the nether regions of the universe and out of memory. At least, I used to. I'm finding that I'm feeling more and more comfortable in my own skin of quirkiness and tragedy. After all, most of those blank spaces are filled with my embarrassing quirks or heart-wrenching tragedy. You see, I'd prefer that you not know my mother has a mental illness or that my heart was broken by the man who told me he loved me but wished I'd lose another 30 pounds or that I used to keep a set of children's encyclopedias in the bathroom for that special reading. Then there is the flip side. I realized today that I am a blank space. I think of all the people I've come in contact with in my life and the moments we've shared. In the long run, no matter how beautiful or life-cha...