Politics. Got it. Religion. Okay. People are funny to me sometimes the way we get so worked up about particular subjects, as I'm about to do. You are forewarned. During a rather banal conversation, I threw in that I want to have a home birth. (When I am finally pregnant.) I should have just said, "Do you know how BIG your BUTT looks?" or made a few "momma" jokes. That would have been more acceptable. I just love when someone feels the need to lecture me about a decision. I'm all for input. In fact, I like hearing what others have to say before making my decision. That's the reason I RESEARCHED HOMEBIRTHS before I decided that it's what I would prefer if my pregnancy was normal and a hospital was near enough in the event of an emergency. Like I said, people are funny sometimes. I've heard enough child birth horror stories that are supposed to convince me that I must be in a hospital to give birth. Now I have another to add to the collection. Each...

I found "The Chub" last night. This is a small, thick spiral notebook that I had carried around with me for several weeks last winter and spring. Its sole purpose was to be an immediate reservoir for any brilliant ideas I had during the day. The only thing I ever wrote in there (besides grocery lists and bill schedules) was during my family's reunion-birthday-anniversary cruise last January. My words were interesting, and I clearly remembered writing them on the little boat that took my aunt, sister, and cousin to go snorkeling in the Bahamas. The funny part was that I wrote about how the breeze was making the weariness "seep from my bones". I read it yesterday while I was home from work. That is, after I was sent home for nearly fainting during a class. Apparently, the look of my skin was so bad that my students thought I was pulling a Halloween prank. While driving myself home, I was thinking about the recent events that led me to the afternoon and how embarra...

I'm exhausted right now, and I've only been awake for 4 hours. The problem is the 2 hours I stood inside the Social Security Administration building (and I mean stood) felt like an entire day inside a middle school classroom. For one thing, every time an employee called for a number, you would hear a beep followed by the number. Considering the amount of time we were all spending there, you would think people would listen intently in the hope their number would be next. Instead, the conversations grew louder so they could be heard over the interrupting employee. This is not unlike students at the end of the day who miss out on their bus change because they were too busy talking over the announcement. Another favorite moment today was when the security guard announced that anyone parked behind the building without a permit would be towed. People started throwing questions and complaints at him. "But I parked on the side of the building!" "Is it okay if I parked ou...

I sat down at a table today with four teens who are still learning English. Our goal was to learn the past tense of some irregular verbs, like drive/drove and eat/ate. Most of us who grew up in this country take for granted the fact that we know delightful grammar rules like this. This is often a struggle for these kids, and if you ever tried to learn a foreign language as an adult, you can sympathize. So like I said, I sat down at the table today and started off with, "Today, we're going to talk about verbs. What is a verb?" Fingers snapped in the air, accompanied by several "ums" and desperate appeals to the ceiling tiles. In their Spanish-mumbling, I heard the correct answer—in Spanish—so I asked them to teach me. It wasn't enough to just tell me "accion", they taught me an entire sentence: "Verbos es una palabra que espresa accion." I butchered it. They corrected me. One boy fought to keep his hands from molding my jaw into the proper...

Sometimes all you need in life is to hear that someone else's face lit up at the mention of your name. It was a blissful moment today.

These moments today were so ridiculous that I cannot help but laugh at them. With the clerk at the feed store carrying my 33 pound bags of dog food: "I'm so sorry. There was no parking space up here when I got here, so I had to park all the way over there." "But there's a space right here." "Yes, but I thought it would be more fun for you to carry 60 pounds across the parking lot." I don't think he got it. **** With the clerk at Subway: "What bread do you want?" "I want a wrap." "We don't have wraps." "Um, is that just for today or for forever?" "We ran out today, and we don't have much bread. This is all we have." "Okay, so what kind of bread do you have?" "What kind do you want?" "Well, if that right there is all you have, then what difference does it make what I want?" "Oh, I guess that's true."