My homeroom this year started out with 7 boys. I thought it was a misprint, but nope. There really were only 7 bodies in my homeroom. I considered this God's way of repaying me for last year's penance of have 2 rival gangs in my homeroom. But that's another story. Today, a co-worker of mine mentioned to our principal that she has 27 students in her homeroom. That may not seem like a big deal, but think about the work involved with keeping up with your own children's paperwork. Imagine that 27 times! The principal was shocked by the number, and my friend said something about my homeroom. The principal smiled and said, "Yeah, but two of her three blocks are off the charts. Let's give her a break." That may not seem like much, but with the days I've spent wrangling with these teens, it was like telling me I figured out time travel. 75% of my students are legendary in the discipline office. The fact that I can make them stand in a line or apologize when th...

I thought I'd share my classroom rules with you. Stay in your seat. (I’m not much taller than most of you, and I need to see the entire room.) Get your work done first. (It really is more important than finding out who is mad at each other.) Talk only to people in your group. (You are separated from certain people for a reason.) Use markers and pens only on your paper. (No desks. No skin. No other people’s work.) Use inside voices. (No one wants to hear you scream.) Keep your head up (At least pretend to pay attention.) Remember to eat in the cafeteria. (I’m not a waitress anymore, and I don’t want to watch you eat.) Show respect to everyone in the room. (No name-calling. No fighting. No touching. No throwing.) And for those of you who wonder what happens if you don't follow the procedure... 1. Ignore one of the classroom policies. 2. Roll your eyes when the teacher asks you to stop what you’re doing. 3. Talk during instructions. 4. Raise your eyebrows, slam your hands on a de...

When most people hear that I am a middle school teacher, they sigh and give me that look. You know the one that goes along with, "You are such a trooper." Yes, middle school sucks. It sucked when I went through it, and that part has not changed. No one tells you before you walk in the classroom door that most of your day will be spent wrangling and pleading and praying that you don't say something that will be misconstrued by a parent or media outlet. I usually find myself laughing sometime during the day about what comes out of my mouth in the course of those interesting 7 periods. Here's some of what I said today: "Please don't kick boys in the knees. Ladies don't act like that." "Yelling is only acceptable at sporting events, to stop someone from running into traffic, or when someone is beating you to death." "I guess I just like them better. What kind of question is that?" "I asked you to please stop talking. I didn't...