For the last few weeks, I've been reading a book called, For Parents Only. It's appeared in my life at an interesting time. This is my fifth year as a middle school teacher, so I've seen first hand the delightful changes adolescence brings on a daily basis. My oldest nephew officially became a teenager this year, and it's been interesting to see these very same changes in him—and listening to my sister's side of things.Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice have written an amazing book. Don't let the title mislead you. If you live with or work with teenagers, you should read this book. The writers conducted a nationwide survey of teens about their thoughts on everything from rules to rebellion and what's going on inside their head. I enjoyed many of the comments, especially the kids' insights into the way their parents discipline (or don't discipline) effectively. In my classroom, I've since found myself stopping before writing out a detention slip to consider if the action was truly a deliberate rebellious action or just part of the growing process. I'm asking more questions, listening more, and explaining the reasons behind why certain behaviors are unacceptable. The kids seem to get it.
My only criticism of the book is a structural issue. I'm not a fan of co-written books in which the authors feel the need to explain which story belongs to whom. I mean, if I (Alli) am telling a story about my Great Danes, does it really matter that you know I (Alli) am the one telling it? That aside, I'm impressed with the depth and presentation adolescence. They share real stories from their own families, even when they are the ones learning the hard lessons, like how to teach your child to face their own problems instead of handling them yourself. The book is well-written and easy to read. And you may just be a little surprised by some of the survey results. I was.I have two copies to give away. Please send me an email to frabjouspoet@yahoo.com if you are interested. They will go to the first two responders.
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