C.D. Baker's latest book, 101 Cups of Water begins, I can't live the Christian life. Don't tell anyone, but I've tried and tried and I can't. I haven't loved God with all my heart, soul, and mind, and I certainly haven't loved my neighbors as myself. That simple admission was all I needed to keep reading through these brief essays about faith and spirit. As I combed through the book, I was relieved to know that someone else feels the same frustrations with limitations (A Cup of Reality) and shame at bouts with depression (A Cup of Health). The writing is refreshingly honest, like when he admits that Jesus sometimes bores him (A Cup of Excitement). This is my brand of Christianity--the place where we can be honest with ourselves, with each other, and with God about who we are and the workings of our souls. After all, the One who created us knows us better than we know ourselves. Then there are the pictures! Each essay has an accompanying picture that relate

I went to the beach today. Although I've been remiss about actually going to the beach since I've lived here, I love the beach. I love living in a beach town. This was my first time at Sanibel, and the first time I've seen the Gulf in 8 years. (Indialantic and Melbourne were a much closer drive from our old house.) This was very much a spur of the moment event. I was sitting at a stoplight and noticed the signs toward the beach. So I followed. The trip was brief. I walked for about twenty minutes along the white powder strip and let the ocean's roar fill my head until it pounded out everything else in there. Lesson plans? Gone. House cleaning? Zip. Bills? Nada. I suppose that's all I needed. I have no recollection of the people there. All I recall is the crash of the waves, the brightness of the sun reflecting on the sand, the salty air filling my nostrils. And the joy of wandering. I didn't realize until this afternoon just how much I miss wandering.

Politics. Got it. Religion. Okay. People are funny to me sometimes the way we get so worked up about particular subjects, as I'm about to do. You are forewarned. During a rather banal conversation, I threw in that I want to have a home birth. (When I am finally pregnant.) I should have just said, "Do you know how BIG your BUTT looks?" or made a few "momma" jokes. That would have been more acceptable. I just love when someone feels the need to lecture me about a decision. I'm all for input. In fact, I like hearing what others have to say before making my decision. That's the reason I RESEARCHED HOMEBIRTHS before I decided that it's what I would prefer if my pregnancy was normal and a hospital was near enough in the event of an emergency. Like I said, people are funny sometimes. I've heard enough child birth horror stories that are supposed to convince me that I must be in a hospital to give birth. Now I have another to add to the collection. Each

Sometimes it blows my mind that I still talk to people I've known since seventh grade. (That's 18 years for those of you who don't want to do the math.) There's something about going through the junior high years with someone that really seals a bond between souls. Anyone who has listened to you sob for the millionth time about some sappy guy or stuck by your side through the self-absorption and melodrama years really can't expect to see much worse. Truth be told, I like knowing that someone in this world has seen the worst of me. And knows me. And isn't afraid to remind of who I am. And doesn't have the extra ties of being married to me. Sometimes we all need that. That's what I needed this weekend--to find the motivation to dig deep within me and bring back to the surface some critical character traits I had buried years ago. It's funny how easily we can adapt to our circumstances and wander off-course. That's where I am right now. Just a littl

I wish I could vote for Hillary. I would love to see a woman in the Oval Office. I even like Hillary. In spite of all her faults and misguided words and deeds, I admire her tenacity. The woman is made of steel, and I wouldn't mind soaking up some of her self-discipline. That said, my sticking point this election is also one of the major issue on the campaign trail: health care. I'm just a tad bit tired of all the hub-bub about our "broken" health care system in this country. I'm even more weary about all the whining and crying about people without health insurance. Worse yet, I'm terrified at the prospect of the federal government running my health care program. Aside from the Postal Service, I have yet to see a federal government program that runs efficiently and effectively. I just read through the American Health Choices Plan. I don't have the time or energy to get into all the details at the moment. This plan is inviting on the surface, but I have seve

I'm loving my new music. Today I added some Jack Johnson, Smashing Pumkins, P.O.D., Jane's Addiction, Stone Temple Pilots, Collective Soul, and a little Tupac to my library. This weekend I will expand the library with a little Van Halen, 80's Power Ballads, and Queen. I'll wind it all up with some Perfect Circle and Breaking Benjamin. As if I needed to make my music collection even more ecclectic. I kid you not. Most people crack up laughing when they see my menagerie of all things from Amy Grant to Gregorian Chant to Pearl Jam (with a little Toby Keith thrown in). It was a long road getting to this point in my musical lexicon. For many years, I was so self-righteously disciplined about music that I listened to nothing but Christian music. I stopped listening to all music for a few years in my early twenties, so much so that I know very little about the alternative music I have recently discovered...ten years after its heyday. It doesn't seem so alternative anymore.

I ate my breakfast Monday morning in the bathtub. Yep, and it was delightful and felt a little naughty. In fact, I wondered why I have not tried this before. So I followed the rabbit trails in my head and considered other areas of my life where I need to escape my rather narrow ideas of what's acceptable. There's quite a bit there, and I needed to remedy this. So I did. * I hung only 1 towel on the mostly decorative towel racks. (We're the only ones who use the bathroom anyway, and we usually throw our towels on the toilet seat or over the shower curtain.) * I didn't worry about my unmade bed or the toilet paper roll sitting on the floor. (After all, it's not like Good Morning America is going to show up unexpectedly at my house wanting a live tour or anything.) * I went to work with Crocs on my feet and capris on my legs. And I didn't shave or wash my hair. * I looked a kid in the eye today after he told me I wasn't being fair and said, "Yeah? Well, y

I started a new study on the Psalms. This is interesting so far. I am really trying to not over spiritualize everything. I'm trying to take an honest look at these poems. It's harder than it seems, but I am amazed so far at what I'm seeing. I wish I could write more, but my eyes are falling closed. I still need to throw together a quick dinner. I need to turn off the computer. Here is the link to the new blog. Steps of Jesus .