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Waiting for the Jackpot

Hmm.

I just spent the last 30 minutes composing and debating and erasing a brief update. I guess I wasn't suppose to share that even though it's been a long time since anyone's heard from me.

And I still have nothing of value to say. My mind is spinning like a slot machine these days, and I never know if it will stop on the cherry 7's or the suffocating depression that has me in it's grip.

Um, yeah, it's that bad. But I knew I was here in this miserable waiting place the moment I realized I was a bit too afraid to share what's really weighing on me. I want to, but I can't, mostly because I haven't been able to distance myself enough from it to get an objective view.

It's moments like this when I miss my therapist and my dear friends who know that sometimes the best piece of advice/support you can get is the silent presence of warm body who loves you.

Comments

Christy said…
I'm so sorry it's that bad. I'm so sorry.
If you find that you're able and desirous, you know where my ear lies waiting for your use.
8:05 PM
Diana said…
Kiddo!
Chin up! You know who loves ya! Pray even though you do not want to! It is the communication to the only One that can intervene in those thoughts that are caught in that loop. I am here as well.

Peace!
1:45 PM
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