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The Gulf of Formless Feelings

I know I've been absent lately, but I just really haven't had much to say. To me that line seems like a total cop-out, but it's true. Sometimes there just aren't words to express what's going on in your life.

I'm learning to accept that.

I picked up a copy of "Their Eyes Were Watching God" at the library a few weeks ago, and I've been reading it as I find a few quiet moments. One passage, in particular, has echoed in my head, and it perfectly sums up how I've felt.

"There's a basin in the mind where words float around on thought and thought on sound and sight. Then there is a depth of thought untouched by words, and deeper still a gulf of formless feelings untouched by thought."

That's where I've been lately. Let's face it. The gulf of formless feelings doesn't exactly translate well to the blog world.

The new year (and a long overdue photography session) has rejuvenated me somewhat. At least my will power seems to be back. I am back to clean eating as of yesterday. I even turned down bread pudding. Homemade. With caramel sauce. Homemade.

However, turning down the food wasn't the triumph. I could care less about food. The victory for me was saying, "You know how much I love your bread pudding, but I am on a diet now." I stuck by that. And not a single drop of homemade caramel sauce crossed the threshhold of my lips.

Two days of clean eating down. Two days closer to resurrecting myself.

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Christy said…
That's a beautiful way to express it - I think I've been to that gulf before :)
Congrats on the whole turning-down-the-bread-pudding thing. You're a better woman than I. The hard part is never the food, is it? It's the person offering the food....at least for me.
6:07 PM
frabjouspoet said…
That's exactly the problem. I love the woman who made the bread pudding, and she kept saying, "You just don't love me." My reply was always, "You're killing me!"
6:51 AM
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