Skip to main content

Just When I Thought I Had This Under Control

Here's my question of the day:

Why do I feel the need to explain my actions?
Don't get me wrong. I believe in accountability, and I am so grateful for the people in my life who aren't afraid to call me out and set me straight from time to time. I need that. We all do.
I'm talking about those moments when I feel the need to go over all the gory details of my decision making process, like why I might eat cheese enchiladas from my favorite Mexican place for seven dinners in a row. Or what made me decide to wear cowboy boots with a denim skirt and tiara-styled headband.
Then there are the bigger issues.
As if that isn't bad enough, I'm more than willing to fall into the trap of, "if you questioned my decision, maybe I'm making the wrong one." Then I'll hide the boots for three years. I've done this enough that I'm comfortable with the pattern.
Just the fact that I'm writing this tells me I'm ready to break the pattern. At the end of the day, I suppose, I'm the only one who has to answer for my actions. I need that reminder. Accountability is a wonderful thing, but so is setting yourself free from the ties of approval.

Comments

Christy said…
True.
Also? I'd love to wear that very same outfit. And I'd love to have a pair of cowboy boots. Been craving a pair lately to go with my summer dresses.
6:01 PM
frabjouspoet said…
I highly recommend a trip to Tractor Supply. That's where I bought mine...and I love them. (I also think it's funny that that's where I bought them.)
4:00 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pardon the Interruption

It's 10:00. My race clothes are laying across the top of the dog crate. I've already consumed my all-natural sleep aid. The alarm is set for 4:45 in the morning. I should be sleeping, but my mind is spinning at an unnatural rate. Remember this poem ? The subject of that poem married just a few weeks ago, and I just finished looking through his wedding photos. It's a strange feeling. Not one of loss. Or Regret. Or even wistfulness. I'm thoroughly happy for both of them in a way that will seriously not make sense to most of the people I know. I suppose there will always be an odd sense of knowing in a situation like this. I know the feel of those lips. I've seen that look in his eyes. What I felt for him was real and pure and drives the feeling of satisfaction that is currently overwhelming me. I love knowing that he's in love--even if it's not with me. I even saved my favorite photo to my computer because the image stirred something in me that needs to be sti...
3 comments
Read more

Welcome 2010

This has been an interesting beginning to the new year. The evening began with a beer and air hockey challenge, which I handily lost. This was followed with some extreme go cart racing and more beer, a dinner that consisted of leftovers from one of my favorite South Carolina restaurants and homemade fried zucchini. And more beer. I saw "The Hangover" for the fourth time and laughed like an idiot. After the ball dropped in Times Square, I saw pieces of "Public Enemy" and finally crawled into bed around 2:00 a.m. and stayed there until 11:00 this morning. I spent today playing with a dog, watching college football, and hanging out with one of my current favorite people. I don't do the whole new year resolution thing. However, I do believe in taking a look at the lessons I've learned and the experiences that have unfolded for me in the previous year. Anyone who reads this blog can already figure out that my divorce, running, and dating again have greatly influe...
5 comments
Read more

TMI and Tidal Waves

As usual, it's been a busy week around these parts, and none of my activities this week involved running. If my grandmother could hear at the moment and complete a sentence without hacking up a lung, she'd ask me what's wrong. I'd have to confess that my eczema has flared up in this oh-so-cold-there's-ice-on-my-car south Florida weather, and my skin is so itchy that I have bruises up and down my limbs from all the scratching I've been doing. There are some days I'm relieved to know men with calloused hands. (Before you take that last comment too seriously, remind yourself that I am writing this at 9:30 on a Friday night.) Anyway... I met up for coffee with someone last night who proved to stoke my creative juices. I'll spare you the details of the conversation, but I did have to stop him mid sentence to point out that that particular conversation will most definitely become part of "La Isla Encontrada." Fortunately, he agreed to it, and I fully...
3 comments
Read more