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Happy Fourth

I was asked tonight about the divorce and touched on the fact that it has been such a liberating experience for me. These pieces of myself that I'm recovering and using to piece together my life again are such an interesting array of brokenness. I didn't realize just how broken I was until the last few weeks, and certain moments make me more aware than others.

I spent the afternoon and evening with some friends I met at work a few years ago when I first moved to this area. It was comforting to have a place to go for today's holiday, and it was just SO MUCH FUN! As we sat outside watching others' and producing our own fireworks displays, I was suddenly aware of the absolute peace I felt in the moment. For once, I wasn't worried about what time I needed to leave or listening to the conversation to make sure it wasn't boring or irritating to my significant other. There was no pressure...just experiencing what was in front of me.

After years of sitting anxiously at public events, either out of fear that I would say the wrong thing or constantly being aware of my partner's boredom or irritation, tonight was such a delight. For once I was able to sit in the presence of other people and completely enjoy the moment for what it was. I laughed at the children (and the adults), ate some fabulous food, and participated in great conversation with people I respect.

This is one of the best parts of this process.

Comments

Christy said…
Mmmm. Perfect.
1:17 PM
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