Perhaps the greatest surprise for me in the aftermath of my divorce has been what other people have to say about what I have been and should be doing with my life...especially dating. During a recent conversation I made the remark, "everyone has fifty-million pieces of conflicting advice". Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate the advice. What I don't get is how to sort through it all. I'm not kidding...it's all completely contradictory.
I'm slowly coming to the realization that none of it matters in the end. What does matter is finding what resonates with me and trusting that. I'll be honest. It scares the hell out of me. I don't like to make mistakes. I prefer to know the outcome before I get started. In fact, I don't know if I'll ever reach the point when I can honestly sit back and say, "Whatever happens, happens."
Then again, that's pretty much how I see it all.
This path before me is filled with possibilities, and I like that. The divorce process has taught me that there is always something good--and sometimes better--waiting. I think this is why I've been listening to "Come Sail Away" so much lately. I'm completely in love with the first stanza:
I'm sailing away. Set an open course for the virgin sea.
Cause I need to be free, free to face the life that's ahead of me.
On board I'm the captain, so climb aboard.
We'll search for tomorrow on every shore.
And I'll try, oh Lord, I'll try to carry on.
I love the imagery. This is just how I feel right now...like I'm in the middle of the ocean surrounded by the vast expanse of rolling waves and currents. In the darkest times of my marriage, I wished I could climb aboard a boat and just float away to a new place. I found that new place. Right here. Within me. Now.
I'm slowly coming to the realization that none of it matters in the end. What does matter is finding what resonates with me and trusting that. I'll be honest. It scares the hell out of me. I don't like to make mistakes. I prefer to know the outcome before I get started. In fact, I don't know if I'll ever reach the point when I can honestly sit back and say, "Whatever happens, happens."
Then again, that's pretty much how I see it all.
This path before me is filled with possibilities, and I like that. The divorce process has taught me that there is always something good--and sometimes better--waiting. I think this is why I've been listening to "Come Sail Away" so much lately. I'm completely in love with the first stanza:
I'm sailing away. Set an open course for the virgin sea.
Cause I need to be free, free to face the life that's ahead of me.
On board I'm the captain, so climb aboard.
We'll search for tomorrow on every shore.
And I'll try, oh Lord, I'll try to carry on.
I love the imagery. This is just how I feel right now...like I'm in the middle of the ocean surrounded by the vast expanse of rolling waves and currents. In the darkest times of my marriage, I wished I could climb aboard a boat and just float away to a new place. I found that new place. Right here. Within me. Now.
Comments
Other than that, go girl. Get your own groove on!