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Just a Little Ache

I'm feeling an intense ache today. It's deep within, and the best way I can describe it is like the way it feels to eat just a tiny amount of food when you have been so famished you didn't even realize you were hungry.

Yep. I think that's it.

I spent eleven hours yesterday with one of the most interesting people I've ever met. We hopped in an old Jeep without doors and cruised down US41 with plans to go to a shooting range. After missing our turn and ending up halfway to Miami, we did some Old Florida touristy things like visit the Florida Skunk Ape Museum (where I got to hold a 60 pound albino python). Eventually, we found the shooting range, and I was able to prove that I'm not a bad shot. (I was actually told that I was a natural with a gun.)

Later, he made dinner for me that consisted of fish and lobster he caught himself. It was absolutely delicious. I'm impressed.

I hope he feels the same way. If I've learned anything from dating, I've learned that you just have to find someone who you like to be around and hope they also like being with you. It's really that simple. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. I get that.

My struggle this morning, though, is realizing just how empty certain places of my soul have been. They've been so starved for the last few years that I didn't even realize it. Yesterday filled just enough of that emptiness that I am painfully aware of what I had been lacking. I oh so needed an afternoon of being outdoors and stopping at goofy tourist traps and trying something new and talking freely about whatever subject comes up and taking in the beauty of the Everglades countryside. I needed a little adventure.

I suppose this is the flip side, and for some reason I need to embrace this aching. It's not fun to be caught between what you realize you need in your life and the fear that you may not ever find it. But this time, I don't want to take the escape route into the mundane again.

Comments

Rebecca Jeffries-Hyman said…
I can identify with this ache. I'm feasting on things now I never knew I was starving for. You will too.
11:27 AM
frabjouspoet said…
Thank you for that. It's so nice to know that I'm not the only one who has felt that...it's such a strange feeling, you know?
6:04 PM
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