El Capitan de Barco (Poem)

I remember the days when poetry used to ooze from my veins. I could think of whatever moment I wanted to capture and turn it into lines of metaphors and alliteration. What happened? I think it has something to do with way too much going on at work and the fact that Spanish seems to be overtaking my brain these days. (Seriously, I'm answering people in Spanish.)

My art group met tonight, and I shared what random lines and ideas I had. I felt so vulnerable there, offering my meager contributions to the group. Fortunately, I was in the company of artists who were so accepting and encouraging, and I needed that camaraderie.

I think I also needed half a bottle of Australian cab and a few tostones.

Although I'm sure this poem is nowhere near finished, and I will tweak it some more between tonight and our meeting at the BEACH tomorrow evening for some sunset filming, I will share here what I have. The first voice is the boat captain (el capitan de barco). The second is a woman. He gave up his security to follow his dream. She gave up her dream to follow security in life.

My dream -
my folly.
I thought I needed only
the comfort of the sea
and her soothing lullaby
to rock me to sleep
at night.

Now I wait
for the answers
to come ashore
on the waves.

...

Yet all they do
is tickle my toes
and run away from me
leaving me in the wake
of the innocent ramblings of
a young fool

***

My madness -
my refuge.
I feared the winds of freedom
that once carried me
on the wings of uncertainty
that I craved
most.

Now I watch
as my security
masks a fenced soul churning
like the waves.

...

All they do now
is mock me
and call me
to dip my feet into their depths,
but I'm too afraid to follow and
to feel.