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Opening Up

As I've had the time, I've been reading an amazing book by Brene Brown. Brown is a shame researcher in Houston, and her book, I Thought It Was Just Me, but It Isn't, has been life changing for me. In the book, she shares some of her research on shame and vulnerability, and the most profound piece of information I've uncovered is that we all feel shame, and we're all deeply afraid of it.

Like I said, it's changing me. I'm very aware now of what I say to other people. I'm also very much aware of situations which stir my own feelings of shame. To do this, you answer two questions: How do I want to be perceived by others? and How do I not want to be perceived by others?

I want to be perceived as authentic, empathetic, free-spirited, creative, and joyful.

I don't want to be perceived as stupid or mentally unstable.

Problems arise when either of those perceptions are challenged. The funny thing is that the two ways I don't want to be perceived are most definitely two characteristics that could almost never be applied to me. Yet, I fear them. I've succumbed to the words of people that were intended to strike at the heart of those fears.

And thus enters neurosis.

This is changing now. Since I am aware of this at work in my life, I am quicker to ground myself and quicker to shift out of the dark well of shame. The reality is that perception doesn't always equal truth. Perception shifts like the sand along the shore. Truth is constant.

I like truth.

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