Skip to main content

Opening Up

As I've had the time, I've been reading an amazing book by Brene Brown. Brown is a shame researcher in Houston, and her book, I Thought It Was Just Me, but It Isn't, has been life changing for me. In the book, she shares some of her research on shame and vulnerability, and the most profound piece of information I've uncovered is that we all feel shame, and we're all deeply afraid of it.

Like I said, it's changing me. I'm very aware now of what I say to other people. I'm also very much aware of situations which stir my own feelings of shame. To do this, you answer two questions: How do I want to be perceived by others? and How do I not want to be perceived by others?

I want to be perceived as authentic, empathetic, free-spirited, creative, and joyful.

I don't want to be perceived as stupid or mentally unstable.

Problems arise when either of those perceptions are challenged. The funny thing is that the two ways I don't want to be perceived are most definitely two characteristics that could almost never be applied to me. Yet, I fear them. I've succumbed to the words of people that were intended to strike at the heart of those fears.

And thus enters neurosis.

This is changing now. Since I am aware of this at work in my life, I am quicker to ground myself and quicker to shift out of the dark well of shame. The reality is that perception doesn't always equal truth. Perception shifts like the sand along the shore. Truth is constant.

I like truth.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tough As Nails

I found "The Chub" last night. This is a small, thick spiral notebook that I had carried around with me for several weeks last winter and spring. Its sole purpose was to be an immediate reservoir for any brilliant ideas I had during the day. The only thing I ever wrote in there (besides grocery lists and bill schedules) was during my family's reunion-birthday-anniversary cruise last January. My words were interesting, and I clearly remembered writing them on the little boat that took my aunt, sister, and cousin to go snorkeling in the Bahamas. The funny part was that I wrote about how the breeze was making the weariness "seep from my bones". I read it yesterday while I was home from work. That is, after I was sent home for nearly fainting during a class. Apparently, the look of my skin was so bad that my students thought I was pulling a Halloween prank. While driving myself home, I was thinking about the recent events that led me to the afternoon and how embarra

The Transformation Begins

Do you ever feel like your life is a movie? I hope so because I certainly do, complete with an occasional out-of-body experience and a soundtrack. Right now, I hear Journey in the background and see myself out running each morning, conquering the evil vacuum cleaner, and throwing away my old flannel shirt. The last few days were interesting. My husband and I had few good fights...and lots of laughs. I can't help but think they were related. I know they are. The fights were about establishing boundaries. We finished our budget for June and updated our to do list. At the end of the day, he was completed something he had to have done, and I was working on final edits for my book. I'm really proud of us. We looked at our situation together, set some goals, and we reached them. I'm really proud of him, too. He's the kind of man who doesn't stop until he's completed what he had in mind. I love that tenacity. I guess that's what makes us a good match. I see the big

Frustrated Readers Make Great Fans

I haven’t felt this betrayed by a story line since Neo learned that not only was he not the first person to challenge the Matrix, but he was part of the plan all along. Even though I was sorely disappointed in what appeared to be a cop-out story line, I can understand the logic in that disappointing plot twist. I can’t say the same for Stephenie Meyer’s conclusion to her wildly popular “Twilight” series. Look, I’ve read each of the first three books at least twice, and my grad school entrance paper was a character analysis of Edward Cullen. I loved these books. I read “New Moon” and “Eclipse” in a single day. I’ve been discussing the plot lines and characters with my students for the last two years. It was a long wait for this final book. And a huge part of me wishes I was still waiting. It was that much of a letdown. I’m still debating just how to tiptoe through my inevitable conversations with students about this part of the “Twilight” saga. My students were embarrassed enough by th