Forgive me.
I'm going to do some thinking here. Some sorting. Some processing through the process of writing this blog.
The last week and a half has been a whirlwind for me. Thoughts and emotions have swirled in my head. I'm sitting here still letting them wander around my conscience and hoping they will eventually find a place to rest.
A few days ago I had a conversation with my dear Lawrence who told me that he thinks I'd finally find happiness if I embrace the gypsy in me and live my life with the reckless abandon I seem to crave. This cardboard box of traditional living is certainly worn, and the duct tape I've been using to hold it together is separating along the seams.
But what next?
I have some serious questions to answer in the upcoming weeks. Deep down, I already know the answers, and I have no doubt that the people around me will question my sanity as I make them.
And you know what?
None of it really matters at the end of the day. I fully intend to find myself one day sitting on my front porch--long after my body is sagging and wrinkled--with a smile on my face. When I'm left with the memories I've made from a life I've created and re-invented over and over, I'll know that I truly lived.
This is life not by the rule book. I'm tossing it out. I'm scared out of my mind by the thought of this because so much of my life has been dictated by it.
But I think it's the only way for me.
I'm going to do some thinking here. Some sorting. Some processing through the process of writing this blog.
The last week and a half has been a whirlwind for me. Thoughts and emotions have swirled in my head. I'm sitting here still letting them wander around my conscience and hoping they will eventually find a place to rest.
A few days ago I had a conversation with my dear Lawrence who told me that he thinks I'd finally find happiness if I embrace the gypsy in me and live my life with the reckless abandon I seem to crave. This cardboard box of traditional living is certainly worn, and the duct tape I've been using to hold it together is separating along the seams.
But what next?
I have some serious questions to answer in the upcoming weeks. Deep down, I already know the answers, and I have no doubt that the people around me will question my sanity as I make them.
And you know what?
None of it really matters at the end of the day. I fully intend to find myself one day sitting on my front porch--long after my body is sagging and wrinkled--with a smile on my face. When I'm left with the memories I've made from a life I've created and re-invented over and over, I'll know that I truly lived.
This is life not by the rule book. I'm tossing it out. I'm scared out of my mind by the thought of this because so much of my life has been dictated by it.
But I think it's the only way for me.
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