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Facing Fears

It's Friday night. I'm sitting here in the midst of a very, very dirty house. I'm staring at my computer screen. I'm fighting a losing battle with all the words and ideas in my head. I'm supposed to be writing.

Last month I accepted a part time position as a writer. So I've been writing. What I'm learning is that writing for someone else--on a schedule--is a challenge for someone who prefers to be free from the shackles of another person's agenda.

But everything within me tells me that I need to do this. It's a sacrifice of my most precious commodity--my time. It's humbling to have someone else critique my work and offer suggestions. It's exhausting to deal with the panic that washes over me as I struggle to find the right way to express ideas about topics that are still a bit foreign to me.

And I still have a regular job to do. It takes a lot of work, and I brought a good deal of that work home with me this weekend. On top of that, I three additional positions there as part of my plan to visit Portugal and Spain next summer.

What have I done?

I don't know.

But I have to do this.

Comments

Christy said…
I understand completely. The good thing is that sometimes the discipline really brings out ability that you didn't know you had...
frabjouspoet said…
You're right. I'm finding that I'm forced to prioritize my time better...and more willing to say--gasp--no when necessary! (Oh, and I've found another member of our tribe.)
Christy said…
I hope to meet our fellow tribesman one day, then! I think we should all stay as connected as possible :)

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