Skip to main content

Merry Christmas

I've had a million thoughts run through my head today, but I will try to follow one of the important rules of blogging and stick with just one of those thoughts. It's been a most interesting Christmas for me. Another first...and I hope it's just the beginning of the next stage in my never-a-dull-moment life.

It's no secret that I tend to live life with the idea that you make decisions for the day based on the information in front of you at that moment. I'm not a fatalist, nor do I believe in create a hard and fast plan for tomorrow. My approach is to have a general idea of what is and is not acceptable and adjust as needed.

I certainly never intended to end up here...where I am in this moment. It's just the way the path unfolded.

This morning, my love and I were talking, and I decided to tell him a little about my ex-husband and the way we interacted with each other. Making this decision was a great debate in my head because I wondered just how crazy it would sound in someone else's ears. In the end, I knew I needed to let him know.

His response exemplifies one of the reasons I love him. First, he immediately understood the ridiculous point of view my ex seemed to have in regard to me. Second, what ensued was a conversation about how important it is for us--as humans--to act and speak with authenticity. Otherwise, people just get hurt.

Granted, we have no control over other people and their reactions. This is a lesson I have learned this year. However, my job is to be true to myself and what I know to be real and right. The rest is left for others to interpret and respond through their own filters of experience. In a perfect world, we would all do this.

But it's not a perfect world.

This vulnerability in love thing is tough for me, but I'm certainly amazed to see myself willing to take the steps to be so. I'm even more amazed to see how the right person responds to the vulnerability. He accepts it. He does what is necessary to reassure me. We ended our conversation with the declaration that we must not hide things from each other...even the bad.

It's been a beautiful Christmas, and I've been surrounded by love that amazes me with each waking moment--through my family and friends and, of course, my querido. Love in it's purest form accepts and nurtures and understands that each breath we take changes the path.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Carnival

It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon here in southwest Florida, although still a bit too warm for my November tastes. I'm learning to enjoy my weekends with as much unstructured and unscheduled time as possible. Last Saturday was a delightful unstructured day. A new friend of mine (the one from the Everglades excursion) and I went to a local carnival. Now, here's the thing...I LOVE carnivals. The food. The people. The rides. The lights. I can easily spend an entire day wandering through the crowds. He's no carnival slouch. The first thing we did was walk through the entire place, scoping out the rides. Then the fun began. We rode almost every ride there (except for the kiddie attractions and the broken Tornado). The Wild Claw. The Scrambler. The Orbiter. The Space Oddysey. The Swings. The Pharaoh's Fury. The Ferris Wheel. The Giant Slide. The Haunted House. The Avalanche. It was all good. How can you top a ride that uses centrifugal force to plaster your body against...
2 comments
Read more

Busy Days Ahead

It's been a busy week for me. I left my house at 4:30 Monday morning for my drive down south and pulled back in my driveway at 1:20 this morning. The days have been long, too, between working at the new school from 7:30 until 3:00 or 4:00 and then working at the new place until 9:00 or 10:00 each night. I now have callouses on my fingers and not one intact finger nail. I think I've also developed a new twitch somewhere on my face. One afternoon this week, I stood in the middle of our new living room and took in the sight of missing drywall, a growing hole in the floor and soaked up my husband's predictions that we still won't be ready to paint by the weekend. All I wanted to do was cry. All I felt was nothingness. Numbness. Anyone who has ever reached the point of numbness knows that it's scarier than feeling like you're falling apart. It's one step beyond feeling like you're falling apart. I couldn't help but wonder just what we had gotten ourselves...
5 comments
Read more

Stranger Obligations

I had to make a few difficult decisions this week. At least, they were difficult for me. I wish I could be the kind of person who completely makes decisions based on his/her own needs and wants and boldly moves through life with unabashed freedom from how our choices affect others. But I'm not built like that. I had placed an ad for my former stray. I felt like it was time to find her a more permanent home because so much in my life right now is uncertain. One person answered the ad, but she did not seem like a good fit, and I gave up further thought. This week I received another response. As long as this person is telling the truth, it's an ideal situation for the dog. Yet, I had a strange feeling and could not sort out whether or not it was my intuition kicking in or that fact that I actually like the dog and don't want to see her go. In the end, I decided that it was in my own (and my Winnipeg's) best interest for her to stay with us through the summer. (I seri...
5 comments
Read more