Skip to main content

Merry Christmas

I've had a million thoughts run through my head today, but I will try to follow one of the important rules of blogging and stick with just one of those thoughts. It's been a most interesting Christmas for me. Another first...and I hope it's just the beginning of the next stage in my never-a-dull-moment life.

It's no secret that I tend to live life with the idea that you make decisions for the day based on the information in front of you at that moment. I'm not a fatalist, nor do I believe in create a hard and fast plan for tomorrow. My approach is to have a general idea of what is and is not acceptable and adjust as needed.

I certainly never intended to end up here...where I am in this moment. It's just the way the path unfolded.

This morning, my love and I were talking, and I decided to tell him a little about my ex-husband and the way we interacted with each other. Making this decision was a great debate in my head because I wondered just how crazy it would sound in someone else's ears. In the end, I knew I needed to let him know.

His response exemplifies one of the reasons I love him. First, he immediately understood the ridiculous point of view my ex seemed to have in regard to me. Second, what ensued was a conversation about how important it is for us--as humans--to act and speak with authenticity. Otherwise, people just get hurt.

Granted, we have no control over other people and their reactions. This is a lesson I have learned this year. However, my job is to be true to myself and what I know to be real and right. The rest is left for others to interpret and respond through their own filters of experience. In a perfect world, we would all do this.

But it's not a perfect world.

This vulnerability in love thing is tough for me, but I'm certainly amazed to see myself willing to take the steps to be so. I'm even more amazed to see how the right person responds to the vulnerability. He accepts it. He does what is necessary to reassure me. We ended our conversation with the declaration that we must not hide things from each other...even the bad.

It's been a beautiful Christmas, and I've been surrounded by love that amazes me with each waking moment--through my family and friends and, of course, my querido. Love in it's purest form accepts and nurtures and understands that each breath we take changes the path.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reflections on 2006

At some point near the end of December, I chronicle some of the major events of the passing year. I've been doing this since I was 13, and although it still seems a little hokey to me, I'll do this again for 2006. I started 2006 as a completely different person than the one sitting before my computer now typing these random thoughts. I speak my mind more (although still not enough). I've stood up for myself by saying no to people I love and refusing to eat potato chips just because they were "there". I actually purchased...and wore...and took a picture in a sleeveless shirt. I saw both the emergency room and Cancun during the middle of the night (and they both make fascinating stories). I started a whole new year of teaching and finally realized that it's not my calling. I learned that people are human just like me, and that it's okay to open up to them. In that vein, I've cultivated some amazing friendships with some truly wonderful women. I've se...
1 comment
Read more

Running

Sunday night, after the sun set, I found myself in my front yard with Winnipeg. Something snapped under my feet, and I started running as fast as I could...wearing flip flops. And it felt so good to feel my legs push my body forward as my feet touched and lifted off the ground. My lungs filled with air. Good air that they have been craving. I felt like I was flying. Dogs are the perfect companion for such random moments, and she jumped right into the game. She's a faster runner than I am, and she can be a bit frightening to watch barreling forward because you think she won't stop. But she usually does. I'm still smiling at the thought of me and my dog running like maniacs in the front yard. As fast as we could. And laughing loudly. And not caring who might have seen it. Feet touch ground. Lift off. Pushes me forward. Flying. Lungs fill with air. Exhale. Pushes me forward. Satiated. Legs jump in the night. Dodges. Pushes me forward. Delight. Here there is no finish line. We ...
1 comment
Read more

On Muchness

A dear friend confessed to me last night that he had lost his muchness and found it again. I confessed the same and even admitted the ridiculous series of events that recently sapped my own muchness. That little confession seemed to do wonders. It's so easy to fall out of step with myself. In fact, I do it quite naturally. Growing up in a Christian home, I took to heart the instructions to love my neighbor more than I love myself. Oh, wait! I just checked the scripture. "Love your neighbor as yourself." I may have been doing this the wrong way. I ended 2010 with the resolution that I would no longer make decisions out of fear. I am starting 2011 with the resolution to make decisions based on what I want. I've struggled with this because I've always believed that I should consider the needs and wants of others before my own. I'd like to think this is a valiant approach, but the truth is that it only leads to martyrdom...and I don't think I was given the opp...
2 comments
Read more