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Todo va a cambiar

In seven hours I am leaving the country and returning on Tuesday to start a new chapter in my life. I'm sitting here right now looking around my home and making notes about the final tasks I need to complete before loading the car and heading to the airport. I have laundry to do, dishes to wash, and some items to write for a client, but I cannot stop the thoughts ramming against the inside of my head.

Todo va a cambiar. Everything is going to change. He told me that recently, and I'm painfully aware right now just how true that is. For more than two years we've waited for this moment. We've weathered an international relationship through endless text conversations, a few video chats, and monthly visits interspersed with a few extended moments.

We made it through the stressful visa process. We survived the interview. Can we survive living together?

That thought alone has me fairly convinced I will not be sleeping tonight. Honestly, I cannot remember the last time I felt this afraid. It's not that I'm worried about the day to day interactions. We've had plenty of them. It's that I'm scared of what we'll do when we no longer have the distance to blame for the insecurities we face that flare up into blazing fires of jealousy and accusations that mask the fear we both share.

Tuesday morning we embark on a new life. This is so exciting...and so...so...frightening. I've said before that I've never felt passion like this. I love this man in ways that I can never explain.

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