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Welcome 2016

Like anyone else, I have certain years that stand out in my life as being far more challenging than others. For me, those years include 1994 and 2004. In all honesty, I'd have to rank 2015 right up there, even though it breaks that lovely 10 year time span. Or perhaps I'm not remembering 2014 clearly after everything that happened in the last year.

Of course, there were some wonderful highlights, including the end of the immigration nightmare and finally being able to start life as a permanent family. I continued to grow in my new position at work. I saw my freelance career begin to bloom. I took up running again. I bought a new car. I started getting control over my finances. Winnipeg went to the beach for the first time. I got flowers from my dear one for the first time. I think my thyroid is finally under control.

There were some unbelievable lows, including some rather vicious and violent fights and enough doubt and mistrust to suffocate the most faithful of people. The sensation that I was completely losing myself peaked during the year, and I saw my friendships change to degrees that I think makes them irrevocable.

I almost want to do a Wordle of my text messages just to see what the most common words were. I have a feeling they would be badoo and trust. I'm still not sure if this is part of the growing process or if it means we're doomed. The pastor spoke last week about the purpose of pruning. It leaves behind what looks like scraps of the plant, but it's necessary to make the plants stronger. But I've seen freezes do the same thing, so I don't know.

And I'm still not a mom. However, the doctor did confirm that I do ovulate. It looks like we're going to have to go to a fertility specialist now and see what's going on. It's been a long wait, and each month feels like a complete lesson in failure, especially when my body seems to function properly.

During 2015, I've prayed more and cried more than at any other time in my life. I've felt an incredible amount of despair and a fair share of hope. Now my hope rests in something great for 2016.

My word for the year is LOYALTY. It's from Old French and means faithfulness to something to which one is bound by pledge or duty; implies strict and continuing faithfulness to an obligation, trust, or duty. For the record, faithfulness means adherence to something to which one is bound by pledge or duty.


I'm going to start the year by exploring a bit more the concept of loyalty and fleshing out what obligations and duties I have in this life.

Here's to an amazing new year!

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