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Christmas 2017

In 20 minutes, the hour will turn into another day, and it will officially be Christmas American-style. I'm supposed to be earning money right now by popping out a few more pieces for the projects I'm working on. I could also be cleaning the kitchen so it's not such an eyesore in the morning. I could go to bed, too, but I just took the dogs out for the final time tonight and put them all in their crates. Midnight Christmas mass is on t.v., and even though I'm not Catholic, I am intrigued by this story I've heard so many times in my life told through a new lens.

It's Christmas Eve, and the best I can say is that I'm intrigued.

There was a time in my life when Christmas was a big deal. As a sophomore in high school, I wrote an essay for English class all about how excited I was for Christmas that year. I don't have that essay anymore, and neither do I have that same sense of anticipation. There was a time when I excitedly pulled down all my decorations from the attic and spent an entire day putting up the tree, stringing lights and garland and setting up winter-themed vignettes in every available flat space in the house. The closest thing I have to Christmas decorations this year is a glittery table-top Christmas decoration my boss gave me last year. I didn't even take it out. It's been sitting on a shelf since the day I brought it home.

I'm really not a Grinch or a Scrooge. I mean, I'd never take away someone else's love of the holiday. By all means, go ahead and enjoy it. Every minute of it. Because it's still a magical time of year for those who love the lights and sparkle and carols. I just. I just have no use for it this year. Right now. Okay, last year. Maybe next year. Maybe next year, I'll feel the magic again. And it's okay if I don't.

Please let it be okay.


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