The title of this post is a bit of a misnomer. Just this morning I said, "I'm having a hard time getting it together right now." I'm in one of those periods when showing up is the best I can offer, and I can't even guarantee that. That said, I just popped on here to share that I'm struggling. I'm dealing with a lot of loss right now. Some of it is easy to spot. Some of it I've tucked away because it's either terribly painful or terribly embarrassing--at least to me. Some of it was inevitable. Some of it was a surprise. All of it rises up into the center of my chest and begs me to stop for a moment to acknowledge it. It's doing that right now even as I type this. I'm having a hard time getting it together right now.

 I woke up Tuesday morning with the worst sore throat I can remember having. It was annoying, but the pain started to subside as I was in the middle of my morning routine. I pushed it aside and left for work. On my drive to work, I usually listen to the morning news or talk to a friend on the phone. I was running late that morning, and my friend was already in her office where she has no cell service. The radio was irritating, so I entertained myself as I spent more time tapping the brakes than pressing the gas pedal. By the time I arrived at work, I had a nagging feeling. My cousin is getting married this weekend, and my sister and nephew and I had planned a road trip together. The plan was to leave Thursday morning, drive up to Georgia to see our grandmother and then head over to South Carolina on Friday for the wedding. That meant I would be seeing both of my 90+ year old grandmothers, plus family members with health concerns. A cold was frustrating, but the last thing I wanted to d

Okay, so we're not really in quarantine. In southwest Florida, we're all living under a suggestion to stay off the beaches. Apparently, grocery stores and gas stations are the acceptable gathering places, and I feel like I'm living in central Florida in the 90s all over again when Walmart was the place to be after the bars closed. Because, you know the bars are closed here too. In all fairness, I'm living my dream right now. I'm able to work from home, and I like the flexibility it gives me to balance this work and home life thing. I seriously could get used to this. I like having bites of time in which to complete the small tasks that all too often gang up on me. I feel like I'm doing a better job keeping up with it all. My early morning routine is fairly established. I get up and take the dogs out. While they eat I fill a bucket with some water and toss a handful of clothes in a galvanized steel bucket and let them soak for a few hours. I get myself ready