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On Numbness

I have very little to write. I've had very little to write for several days now. My journal is collecting dust. The keyboard is feeling neglected. I'm mostly feeling numb these days. I've been on my personal discovery journey long enough to know that "numbing out" is my way of dealing with the crap swirling around me. It's an instinctual response to chaos in my life...and my life is filled to the brim with chaos.

I'm also a little weary. I'm weary of this world and all it's messages. I don't need a life filled with physical and emotional baubles. I feel like I spend too much of my time running around--filling my car with purchases I don't really need; speaking words I don't really need to say; shoveling food into my already full stomach; infusing my brain with sitcom jokes; and grading a 3-inch stack of papers for students who will check out the grade and toss it in the nearest recycle bin.

The band is falling apart. My summer pants don't fit. Pine stares at me during the night. Will I ever get my laundry put away? I think I need to have a good cry and go on vacation.

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