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Reflections on 2006

At some point near the end of December, I chronicle some of the major events of the passing year. I've been doing this since I was 13, and although it still seems a little hokey to me, I'll do this again for 2006.

I started 2006 as a completely different person than the one sitting before my computer now typing these random thoughts. I speak my mind more (although still not enough). I've stood up for myself by saying no to people I love and refusing to eat potato chips just because they were "there". I actually purchased...and wore...and took a picture in a sleeveless shirt. I saw both the emergency room and Cancun during the middle of the night (and they both make fascinating stories). I started a whole new year of teaching and finally realized that it's not my calling.

I learned that people are human just like me, and that it's okay to open up to them. In that vein, I've cultivated some amazing friendships with some truly wonderful women. I've seen some old friendships resurrected. And I've made a conscious decision about they type of person I want in my circle of friends. All are gifts I dearly treasure for they've challenged me to discover who I am...through writing and chats and discussions and fashion.

I've looked into my soul and discovered an interesting person: one with a confident and "together" face to the world yet composed of layers I'm not sure even I'm ready to excavate. I know now that I am a little (okay, a lot) eccentric with a mind constantly flooded with wacky ideas and theories and dreams. I beat to my own drum and now feel that it's a perfectly acceptable way to live. (For some reason I am at this point envisioning plaid suspenders.) I feel deeply and have a tendency to numb out the world when chaos creeps in. I proudly wear a warning label: If you hurt me, I will get my revenge.

This is the year I realized that I am a beautiful woman...and the first time in my life I was able to refer to myself as a woman. I am charismatic...and even though I've known this in my head...my heart is now starting to believe that I have a vision and a purpose and ideas worth listening to. I am slowly starting to trust my instincts...and living my life by my senses.

I've written more this year than ever before and discovered that my soul is an artist. My dream is to write and create art for a living...if I can only get myself organized enough to finish something. There are just too many book and painting and drawing ideas crammed inside my skull.

This year I found some new obsessions with foreign films (especially Mexican comedies), travel essays and the Beat writers. I haven't listened to this much classic rock since high school. I lost and gained too many pounds to count...and believe it or not, I did at one point have an amazing control over my mind.

2006 would end up being the year of my greatest personal growth and greatest regret. I think it no coincidence that these would end up being wound together somehow. My greatest lesson has been that I must know myself and be willing to plumb the depths of my soul...even under the tremendous temptation of anesthestizing myself.

What an incredible year! What an amazing way to close out another decade of my life! Wow!

Comments

Rebecca Jeffries-Hyman said…
If you ever find those plaid suspenders, will you pick up a pair for me? Somehow, I think that would be fitting.....

<3 Christy
7:41 AM
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