Skip to main content

Another Stage in the Evolution of My Life

I posted something yesterday. However, as I've thought about the circumstances that lead me to write that post, I felt that I needed to delete it. It just didn't convey the message that I was trying to express.

Let's just say that something happened this weekend that essentially empowered me and made me realize just how far I've come in my life. And how far I have yet to go.

What I've discovered is that one of my great strengths and weaknesses in life is the fact that I accept people as they are. I do. One of my dear friends told me this weekend that I have America's biggest shoulders.

I like this quality in me, but I also know it works to my detriment at times. I'm the master of line blurring. However, it's one thing to accept people as they are. It's quite another to let that be an excuse for someone to take advantage of and walk all over me.

Yes, that happens.

During the last few years, I've compiled a list of what behaviors are and are not acceptable to me. This list changes and evolves as I explore what I like and don't like in other people. At the moment, the list includes abusive language (in any form--no matter how innocuous), inauthentic behaviors, arguing with and refusing to accept my word, and anything that brings chaos into my life.

I'm using my body as a meter. If my skin crawls and sweats and just signals that something isn't right, I accept that it's not and walk away.

That sounds easy enough, but the reality is that it pains me sometimes to do that. Deep down, I really...really...REALLY want to let people be themselves, and I feel like walking away and saying something doesn't sit right with me robs them of that opportunity.

I want them to have the opportunity to just be. I suppose in some way, they still have that chance. It just doesn't have to be with me.

Comments

Christy said…
Exactly. It doesn't have to be you that they just be themselves with.
6:49 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reflections on 2006

At some point near the end of December, I chronicle some of the major events of the passing year. I've been doing this since I was 13, and although it still seems a little hokey to me, I'll do this again for 2006. I started 2006 as a completely different person than the one sitting before my computer now typing these random thoughts. I speak my mind more (although still not enough). I've stood up for myself by saying no to people I love and refusing to eat potato chips just because they were "there". I actually purchased...and wore...and took a picture in a sleeveless shirt. I saw both the emergency room and Cancun during the middle of the night (and they both make fascinating stories). I started a whole new year of teaching and finally realized that it's not my calling. I learned that people are human just like me, and that it's okay to open up to them. In that vein, I've cultivated some amazing friendships with some truly wonderful women. I've se...
1 comment
Read more

Running

Sunday night, after the sun set, I found myself in my front yard with Winnipeg. Something snapped under my feet, and I started running as fast as I could...wearing flip flops. And it felt so good to feel my legs push my body forward as my feet touched and lifted off the ground. My lungs filled with air. Good air that they have been craving. I felt like I was flying. Dogs are the perfect companion for such random moments, and she jumped right into the game. She's a faster runner than I am, and she can be a bit frightening to watch barreling forward because you think she won't stop. But she usually does. I'm still smiling at the thought of me and my dog running like maniacs in the front yard. As fast as we could. And laughing loudly. And not caring who might have seen it. Feet touch ground. Lift off. Pushes me forward. Flying. Lungs fill with air. Exhale. Pushes me forward. Satiated. Legs jump in the night. Dodges. Pushes me forward. Delight. Here there is no finish line. We ...
1 comment
Read more

On Muchness

A dear friend confessed to me last night that he had lost his muchness and found it again. I confessed the same and even admitted the ridiculous series of events that recently sapped my own muchness. That little confession seemed to do wonders. It's so easy to fall out of step with myself. In fact, I do it quite naturally. Growing up in a Christian home, I took to heart the instructions to love my neighbor more than I love myself. Oh, wait! I just checked the scripture. "Love your neighbor as yourself." I may have been doing this the wrong way. I ended 2010 with the resolution that I would no longer make decisions out of fear. I am starting 2011 with the resolution to make decisions based on what I want. I've struggled with this because I've always believed that I should consider the needs and wants of others before my own. I'd like to think this is a valiant approach, but the truth is that it only leads to martyrdom...and I don't think I was given the opp...
2 comments
Read more