Skip to main content

Answers

It's funny the way life works sometimes. Two years ago, in August, I was still sorting through the summer's chaos in the wake of my Spain trip. The phone call I received the morning of July 13 while I was in the middle of cooking some Brazilian-style rice and beans completely shook my world. I still remember how I survived on bottles of Coca Cola and the two weeks of sleeplessness and questions and endless phone calls in which I asked "Why?" a million times. The worst part of that experience was having no way to find the answers I so desperately needed.

The song, "Chances" by Five for Fighting was rather prominent for me in the year leading up to that fateful day. At that point in my life, I was so open to experiencing the moments of my life as they presented themselves. It just seemed to make so much sense that there were no guarantees, and that I couldn't let that fact ruin the opportunities I did have. Nothing lasts forever, no matter how it feels today. I remember so well how that line comforted me, reminding me to enjoy the moment for what it was. It was what drew me back into those arms each time they knocked on the door of my world.

Yet, sometimes it seems like there's always something out there with the power to strike your rock and pulverize it to sand. That phone call did it for me. It took my arms-wide-open-in-the-wind mentality and left me cowering in a hurricane of emotions and questions. I wrote in my journal about the struggle to "make sense of something that may never see the light of day."

The sun rose last night. While searching for some immigration-related information for me and my husband, I came across a link for a wedding registry. This led to a little digging around in public records and few stops in my 2011 journal just to refresh my memory of how everything went down that year. As I have shared this information with my friends who walked that path with me that summer, we've discovered more questions than answers. I didn't think much of it until Nadia asked me why I am putting myself through this.

But...I'm not upset. This doesn't bother me. In fact, I finally feel liberated. I have some answers. It only took two years, but I HAVE SOME ANSWERS! So many of the enigmas suddenly make sense, and my constant questioning during that time was all centered around something that I knew I didn't know. Now I do. This answer is the final step in what was a very long process for me. It knocked me off my feet. It forced me to retreat. It lasted longer than the recovery from my divorce.

Chances are we'll find two destinations.

We did. It's okay.

Chances are only what we make them and all I need.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Restless Soul

Someone recently told me that I have an impulsive streak. ("Just an observation, not a criticism.") My initial reaction was to vehemently deny that statement despite the fact that I had just confessed to walking into Total Wine and buying $200 worth of wine just because it seemed like a good idea at 11:00 on a Thursday morning. Me? Impulsive? Don't answer that, especially if you know the truth. I shared this with my therapist yesterday and his eyes lit up when I said, "I think I have a restless soul." The fact that his eyes lit up is significant since we spend most of my sessions arguing with each other about ideas like whether or not a book he recommended is filled with psychobabble bullsh*t or why I should do a bit more thinking with my heart instead of my head. For once, he agreed with me and quickly pointed out that this is not necessarily a bad trait. In fact, it's what stirs my needs to explore and to write. It's also the reason why I don't, by...

Welcome 2010

This has been an interesting beginning to the new year. The evening began with a beer and air hockey challenge, which I handily lost. This was followed with some extreme go cart racing and more beer, a dinner that consisted of leftovers from one of my favorite South Carolina restaurants and homemade fried zucchini. And more beer. I saw "The Hangover" for the fourth time and laughed like an idiot. After the ball dropped in Times Square, I saw pieces of "Public Enemy" and finally crawled into bed around 2:00 a.m. and stayed there until 11:00 this morning. I spent today playing with a dog, watching college football, and hanging out with one of my current favorite people. I don't do the whole new year resolution thing. However, I do believe in taking a look at the lessons I've learned and the experiences that have unfolded for me in the previous year. Anyone who reads this blog can already figure out that my divorce, running, and dating again have greatly influe...

So Not the Party Girl

In an effort to be more social, I agreed to participate in the first annual cookie exchange at work this morning. I've never done an cookie exchange before, and that fact alone didn't bode well for my social phobia, perfectionist tendencies, and leeriness about eating food from other people's kitchens. But I persevered. My grandmother recommended her favorite cookie recipe (which is actually a cake recipe--cut into bars). Last night I whipped up a delightful batch and licked the icing bowl clean...after I spread the bulk of it on the cookies. I wrapped everything in some plastic bowls and topped them with a Christmas bow. All was well until I was 1 dozen cookies short. At 10:45 last night I drove 7 miles to the nearest store (Walgreens) and then drove another mile to the Winn-Dixie for powdered sugar. I washed dishes as I listened to Letterman, and I was finally in bed around 12:30. And up again at 4:45. The cookie exchange was DELIGHTFUL. I laughed as I sipped black coffee...