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Intangible Disparities

It's time to write again.

This blog is my mental form of running. It lets me sort through the thousands of ideas running through my head at any given moment and gives them the chance to become more than figments of my imagination. I need them to be more than figments of my imagination.

So, it's time to write.

I spent most of the summer in the Dominican Republic with my husband and his family and arrived home last Sunday at about this time. On the plane, I chatted a bit with my seat mates, and one of the conversations we had was about the value of traveling. One of them mentioned that every teenager in the United States should be required to live overseas for a few months as a high school graduation requirement. I agree completely.

There's something about being immersed in a different culture that lets you understand your own on a deeper level. The more time I spend there, the more I appreciate where I come from and the values that have been instilled in me. However, that sense of appreciation springs from a different place than most people expect and has little to do with life's amenities like air conditioning and reliable electricity. If I'm completely honest, it probably has far more to do with my DNA than it does with the nationality listed on my birth certificate.

But that's a story for another time.

For tonight, I am grateful that I am from a world that values people as humans. That as a woman I am free to study and work and take care of myself. That I am not subject to obey the whims of men who are only out to get what they believe is due them. That I have the ability to walk away from those who violate my values and damage my spirit. That I am surrounded by people who offer their time and possessions and ears as a symbol of friendship.

I wish every woman in the world could experience this. But they don't, and I don't have much confidence in the thought that they ever will. The more I see of the world and its cultures, the more aware I am of the disparities in the qualities of our lives, the intangible qualities. We are so egocentric and self-absorbed that most us just don't get the fact that most of the world has a completely different value system than we do. I'm sick and tired of the people who continue to let these atrocities occur all in the name of respecting different cultures.

I refuse to believe that the ultimate sign of respect is turning a blind eye to the way women are mistreated and abused in the name of cultural integrity. They are forced into prostitution to feed their families. They are required by social norms to give birth to as many children as possible so they can elicit the sympathy of strangers and governments that are willing to do anything "for the children," yet fail to realize that the money they give in an attempt to feed them is actually just a form of income to support the family. They are neglected by men who feel entitled to their services in the home and want to keep them as part of an extended harem.

Even as I type this, it seems like part of a bad movie plot. Yet, I've seen it with my own eyes. It's so hard for Americans to imagine the realities that these women live with on a daily basis. In fact, it's so difficult that they refuse to believe it happens and claim it is just a cultural difference.

It's just wrong.

Sometimes I think the greatest mistake we can make in life is to assume that everyone else thinks and believes the same way we, as individuals, do. Instead, we need to stop and think before we say, "it's impossible for someone to think--do--say that because it really is possible.

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