Skip to main content

This Is Love

And the voice you need to hear is the true and the trusted kind
With a soft, familiar rhythm in these swirling, unsure times
When the waves are
lapping in and you're not sure you can swim
Well here's the lifeline
("This is Love"/Mary Chapin Carpenter)

Several months ago I started putting together my life story in the form of a scrapbook. Tonight, I pulled it out again and took a lovely stroll through my memory. I reached for the last set of pictures to go in the book and stopped at the very last one--my high school graduation.

The event was a little different for me. Basically, I withdrew myself from high school after the first semester of my junior year of high school. Between my mother's deteriorating mental health and my desperate attempts to hold together the family I had left, I could find no significance to sitting in American Government discussing upcoming football games. High school life seemed so self-absorbed and meaningless...exactly what it should be. On top of all this, I was harassed daily in class and the hallways by someone, and it was just too much to deal with.

I worked full time during the day and finished my few remaining courses at night school. Those few months are still a blur, but in my typical fashion, I pushed myself to get everything done in record time. I held my high school diploma in my hands seven months early.

The adult school had a special "graduation" ceremony for students who earned either their diploma or G.E.D. Although, it was nice to be part of the event, I could help but feel depressed, wondering just what I had traded in my haste. While my friends were still writing term papers and going to club meetings, I was earning a paycheck. I was no longer a part of their club that consisted of study sessions and parties and summer plans. What did I have to show for myself?

On top of all this, this graduation was more low-key than I had envisioned. There were no caps and gowns or alma mater singing, but my entire family was there. My cheering section also included three of the most amazing people I've ever known--three of my best friends since junior high. I had no idea they would be there. It meant the world to me to see them there...to have them participate in the ever-so-important teenage rite of passage.


That's what true love is all about. It's standing by someone even when they don't make decisions that seem right or logical to you. It's holding tightly to relationships, and knowing that the camaraderie we share sustains our souls. It's cheering for the milestones. It's crying together in the depths of sorrow. And it's that kind of love that I know twelve years later will last forever.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Reflections on 2006

At some point near the end of December, I chronicle some of the major events of the passing year. I've been doing this since I was 13, and although it still seems a little hokey to me, I'll do this again for 2006. I started 2006 as a completely different person than the one sitting before my computer now typing these random thoughts. I speak my mind more (although still not enough). I've stood up for myself by saying no to people I love and refusing to eat potato chips just because they were "there". I actually purchased...and wore...and took a picture in a sleeveless shirt. I saw both the emergency room and Cancun during the middle of the night (and they both make fascinating stories). I started a whole new year of teaching and finally realized that it's not my calling. I learned that people are human just like me, and that it's okay to open up to them. In that vein, I've cultivated some amazing friendships with some truly wonderful women. I've se...

Running

Sunday night, after the sun set, I found myself in my front yard with Winnipeg. Something snapped under my feet, and I started running as fast as I could...wearing flip flops. And it felt so good to feel my legs push my body forward as my feet touched and lifted off the ground. My lungs filled with air. Good air that they have been craving. I felt like I was flying. Dogs are the perfect companion for such random moments, and she jumped right into the game. She's a faster runner than I am, and she can be a bit frightening to watch barreling forward because you think she won't stop. But she usually does. I'm still smiling at the thought of me and my dog running like maniacs in the front yard. As fast as we could. And laughing loudly. And not caring who might have seen it. Feet touch ground. Lift off. Pushes me forward. Flying. Lungs fill with air. Exhale. Pushes me forward. Satiated. Legs jump in the night. Dodges. Pushes me forward. Delight. Here there is no finish line. We ...

On Muchness

A dear friend confessed to me last night that he had lost his muchness and found it again. I confessed the same and even admitted the ridiculous series of events that recently sapped my own muchness. That little confession seemed to do wonders. It's so easy to fall out of step with myself. In fact, I do it quite naturally. Growing up in a Christian home, I took to heart the instructions to love my neighbor more than I love myself. Oh, wait! I just checked the scripture. "Love your neighbor as yourself." I may have been doing this the wrong way. I ended 2010 with the resolution that I would no longer make decisions out of fear. I am starting 2011 with the resolution to make decisions based on what I want. I've struggled with this because I've always believed that I should consider the needs and wants of others before my own. I'd like to think this is a valiant approach, but the truth is that it only leads to martyrdom...and I don't think I was given the opp...