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I Fully Expect This Post to Be Misunderstood By Someone

I yelled at God the other night. I sat on my porch soaking up the damp night air and poured out my heart to Him. My frustrations and fears came gushing out amidst the sobs and gut-wrenching pain deep within my soul. The pain was physically real.

At one point, I lashed out with something about how angry I was at Him. Yes, at Him. After all, He's the great creator of everything. He holds in His power the ability to anything...ANYTHING in my life. And yet, for now, he's chosen not to do one thing that I want more than anything else right now.

I swear, I could see Him smile at me that knowing smile as He listened to my great display of bitching and moaning. His response was just as clear as could be. "Yeah, you're right. So if I'm the one who can do ANYTHING and knows EVERYTHING, don't you think I would if it was the right time?"

This certainly was not the answer I really expected. Nor is it the one I really deserved. Yet, I can say I walked away from that experience with a new knowledge of God's power. I never before realized that I really do believe in miracles. I really do believe that God has the ability to literally do anything in my life: real, tangible ANYTHING.

And I sense a deeper presence in my life than I did before. There's a lifted veil in my soul, and I truly believe this is what a relationship with God is all about. The place where I can be real and through that honesty offer whatever I have to Him.
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Christy said…
No misunderstanding here. I think He wants us to be open and real with Him. It's not like He doesn't know what's going on inside anyway......
Hang in there (as much as that sounds like a platitude....sorry for that) - you know where to find me if you need an ear to bitch to.
4:41 PM
frabjouspoet said…
Thanks! I knew you'd get it. I obviously agree about being open and real. It's just funny how long it took to finally get to this place of being real.
5:13 PM
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