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Swim Suit Season

I've really been craving some Cool Cafe Blues coffee from Barnie's, and I set out to the one Barnies store in town. It just happens to be at an outlet mall, so I did my usual stop in Gap Outlet (love that store) and then popped in to the swim suit shop.

I'm not picky about swimsuits. Right now I'm wearing a pair of boardshorts with a tankini top to the beach. That's perfectly fine with me, but the top is really a size too big. Every time I go in the water, I end up with breasts floating around OUTSIDE MY TOP. Getting out of the water intact takes this whole procedure that involves contorting and pulling and...well, it makes me feel like I have OCD.

So as I was trying on a brown with aqua polka dots skirt/suit, I noticed a little poster on the wall. It was some sort of guide for finding the perfect suit for your body. You know, if you have a bulging stomach, look for this or long torso, look for that.

That's great if you have just one body issue. I don't think I'd even care about hiding just one body issue. What the hell are you supposed to do if you have a bulging stomach, wide hips, overflowing breasts, and large thighs ALL AT THE SAME TIME?

For now, I'm still in the same too big top. Please, out of sake for my dignity, avert your eyes if you see me swimming toward shore.

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Christy said…
Ha! I know what you mean! I always wondered how something that doesn't even cover your thighs can "minimize" them!
1:05 PM
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