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Shock

I just recently found out that one of my colleagues is facing a divorce. I ran into this person in the hall today, and the unmistakeable look of shock was firmly planted in the eyes. The vacuous stare of someone facing what is arguably one of the most painful experiences known to man.

We chatted briefly. The exchange was simple. "Life throws you curve balls sometimes." I replied with, "Yes, sometimes it just sucks." In my mind I added, "...the life right out of you."

I know that look well. In fact, I recognize it instantly.

This pressed on my mind for the remainder of the day, and I found myself realizing that marriage is certainly more than just a piece of paper. I think the pain surrounding a divorce is firmly rooted in the realization that you made a commitment...a vow that is now broken. Something in the loss of that promise is just simply painful in a way that words can never completely express.

There are so many curve balls that life throws... Death. Loss. We are surrounded by pain. Yet, in many ways, divorce creates a cavern of ache because there is no end. Knowing that the person to whom you vowed to spend you life is still living and breathing forces you to face the loss on a regular basis.

In an odd way, this reaffirmed my belief that we still find marriage something worth holding on to and fighting for. I needed this because my experience in the dating world could very easily lead one to believe that nothing matters.

And yet, it does. That makes me feel just a little more at peace.

I know that there is life on the other side of the dissolution of marriage papers. I live it each day. Yet, it still breaks my heart to know that others still face it. I wish there was a way to avoid the pain, but as a dear friend of mine once told me, "People deal with that they have in the best way possible."

And we carry on...

Comments

Christy said…
I like these thoughts on marriage.
10:15 PM
Rebecca Jeffries-Hyman said…
I can recognize the "shock look" too and remember it well. Thankful for those people (C) who forced themselves to keep looking at me when I wore it.
8:04 AM
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