In the course of a day I have a million and half thoughts that run through my mind. Although I love to share them, I just don't always find the time to do so, but today's is really significant. I talked for a few minutes today with a friend of mine. She asked about what was going on and I replied in my typical fashion. Her response was a gentle shake of her head and a, "Girl, you're way more trusting than I am." My reply was, "I went to Peru by myself and wandered the streets of Lima at night alone. Is this really any different?" Her only response was, "I guess not." I know I'm a bit of a risk taker. I trust too much. But the same people who wonder about my sanity also never fail to point out that I've lived quite a life in a short amount of time. The path I'm on is not an easy one. I never expected that it would be, and it very well may lead to serious heartbreak. That's just the way it goes sometimes. I'm no stranger to te...

I wish I could say that my nearly compulsive anxiety had lessened as I get older and understand more of the world. But it hasn't, and you already knew that before you finished that first sentence. Instead, I find myself thrown in the delightful world and black-and-white/all-or-nothing thinking. I'd like to find some middle ground right now, thank you. Yet, I find that the emotional indulgence of not being able to eat or sleep and completely destroy myself through the process of desperately trying to understand the understandable or control the uncontrollable is just too delicious. Apparently, I like emotionally beating my head against the wall. I have a fairly simple regimen for dealing with anxiety: no food, lots of caffeine and sugar, burning up the battery on my phone by way of hours on the phone talking. After running through my contacts on the phone, I'm forced to search the Internet for the invaluable advice contained therein and eventually sink into my own head and h...

It's been a while. I've been overwhelmed with a life that has been filled with preparing and teaching lessons, keeping up with master's work, and all the other minute details of my life, and sharing as much time as possible with the amazing man who has stolen my heart. This relationship has been different from the start, and I have learned much about myself and the nature of relationships. I don't talk about the nuances of our relationship with everyone in my inner circle because I'm trying to trust my instinct for a change. I've discovered that I need more attention than I initially thought and being vulnerable is the most frightening and most rewarding thing I've ever been. It's been a precarious place for me--seeking the balance between moving forward in the discovery process and being willing to lose if that's the end result. I've done a fabulous job carving out a life for myself after a very painful marriage and divorce. This new chapter is ...