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Dreams

"God has planted eternity in the heart of man." I've often speculated about this piece of scripture and discovered many interpretations. Lately, I'm landing on the concept that God has planted within each of us specific dreams and purposes (or purposi--:)) Is it possible that the eternity planted in our hearts specifically relates to the way we are to contribute to humanity? I do believe that we are all uniquely gifted to contribute to humanity, yet too often we sacrifice what's been planted in our hearts for more palatable dreams. Just listen to kids. They'll tell you they want to be a policeman or a teacher or a pop singer or a basketball star. I've yet to hear a kid tell me that he dreams of eeking by on government assistance for the rest of his life.

So what happens on the road to adulthood?

My dreams have been through several transformations. I vividly recall the years when I wanted to be the pilot of the space shuttle. How I envied the astronauts each time I watched a shuttle launch. I checked out mathematics and physics books from the library. I decorated my room in posters from NASA. I carefully planned my education. Then I wanted to be a folk singer. I started writing more poetry. I took some guitar lessons. I recorded dozens of my own songs and designed album covers. I investigated new colleges where I could major in music composition and philosophy.

In the darkest period of my life, I just wanted a semblance of normalcy. I planned my wedding and picked out children's name. I looked through real estate books and even shopped for farms. In my dreams I saw myself making breakfast each morning, sending the kids off to school, and then settling down to music making while doing laundry.

This gave way to a need for a job, so I opened a massage therapy practice. Ah, now I was a business woman. I set income goals, planned marketing campaigns, took more training. I planned to open stress-relief centers where people would flock to me to learn how to enjoy their lives more. I also started writing and editing, working closely with the language I love so much.

When I back stepped my way into college, I just saw the goal of a degree in mind. I had no set plans, but I recalled a spark that hit me once in high school--the law. I checked into law schools and made more plans, but life has a way of intervening. I married, finished my degree, and eventually ended up teaching language arts.

So here I am faced with the question of where I want to go next. I'm going back to the idea of pursuing my J.D. Law seems to embody much of what I love. It's analytical and requires research skills, writing skills, and communication skills. I love a good argument. I like building a case. And for some crazy reason, I even love working with contracts (it was one of my favorite parts of working for a concert series and in real estate).

This idea scares the hell out of me. It's quite an undertaking, but I'm seeing it as a little more palatable. And in my heart of hearts I believe that if it's meant to be, nothing on this earth will stop it. Just the same, if it's not meant to be, nothing I try to do will force it into being. That's a scary thought. I think my husband is a little freaked out by this idea, too. But I'll take it one step at a time and let my life unfold.

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