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The Big Picture


Life is beautiful. Making that statement right now makes me laugh because the rational part of my brain tells me that anyone with one half-packed house, one house with bathtubs that make gas station restrooms in the middle of nowhere Alabama look clean enough to eat out of, who is starting a new job on Monday but has nowhere within a three hour driving distance to sleep shouldn't say this. Yet, this is really the cry of my soul right now.

We pulled weeds yesterday. At two o'clock. In southwest Florida. These weeds were scary beasts that stood taller than me, and for the most part they kicked my ass. I attempted to wash down some walls and gave up because the walls were no competition for my Brawny paper towels and Lysol, so I walked through the new place and got a feel for where I want the furniture to go. And fought back tears. Then I drove three hours home last night with a headache so severe that I don't actually remember much of the drive.

As sure as I'm sitting here, I know that I am right where I am supposed to be. If you read my blog, you know that I've mentioned this a few times already, but it's worth repeating. There really is no greater feeling than resting in this knowledge. I've slowly come to grips with the fact that life is a master work in progress, and even though I am not where I hoped to be at this point in my life, I am where I need to be.

When I was 18, I went out to sit at the beach with 1/4 tank of gas in the car and $2 in my pocket. When I got in the car to go home, I realized I didn't know where I was, which isn't always a good feeling when you have the resources I just mentioned. Then it dawned on me that I was in Florida and had two options: hit the ocean or run out of gas. Armed with that truth, I knew I could find my way. In some ways, the situation before me is just like that. The ins and outs are still out there waiting to appear and ease our work load, but I know they're there. That's comforting.

I need that comfort now. The new place is a wreck...that needs a LOT of work. Just so you know, the cabinets in the picture are now resting in a dumpster with all the floor coverings. Life is beautiful.

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Comments

Christy said…
In spite of appearances, I am really excited for you! This time in your life is going to make for wonderful stories to tell over drinks in your lovely (future) living room.
5:31 PM
frabjouspoet said…
Hee hee...yeah, it is exciting. Maybe too much so. :)
6:13 PM
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