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Ten years ago, give or take, I saw my first anime movie. I can't remember the name of it right now, but I do remember the one scene my boyfriend wanted me to see. In it, the main character is trying to pull off the cover to a manhole. She struggles so much against the weight of it that she literally rips away her flesh. That's kinda the way I feel right now. Only I'm not a Japanese cartoon. When I get the feeling that I want to rip my flesh away, I know I'm feeling just a tad stressed.

The new place is coming along. I picked up some used kitchen cabinets today. They're a little beat up, but they can be painted and will hold all our souvenir mugs and wine glasses. For now they are in the garage. We both hate the idea of putting money into a temporary home for us, but some things have to be done. Like making sure we have a usable toilet seat. My daily refrain is, "Whatever is cheapest, dear!" For those of you keeping track or making bets, we now have kitchen cabinets, a range, a new bath tub, and several hundred dollars' worth of interesting tools and fixtures. We still need to purchase floor coverings, window shades, toilet seats, paint, and bathroom vanities. I think we can officially move in to part of the house then.

I am, however, loving my new job and school. For now. All I know is that every time I drive through the streets, I feel an overwhelming sense that I am where I am supposed to be. That's about all I can hang my soul on these days.

I get the same feeling on our new property. I finally have a place where the world is still, except for an occasional rooster crowing or cow mooing. I'm in love with the feel of the afternoon breeze bringing in the thunderstorms. From the front porch.

The rest of my life is summed up in boxes. They surround me right now. So much still needs to be done, and it's all way too overwhelming. So overwhelming that I don't know where to start and want to go take a nap instead. Or swat a dog.

Comments

Anonymous said…
As I read your blogs about the move, all I can think is "day by day." That is what you need to do wonder woman. It will al fall into place, and what doesn't just put under the bed or in a closet...LOL.I can't wait to hear all about school and your new students. That is something I am going to miss.
Christy said…
Mmmmmm. Roosters and cows and stillness. I do love how that sounds. And I know that feeling - the one of being right where you're supposed to be. It makes the work ahead do-able.

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