Skip to main content

Updates

Ten years ago, give or take, I saw my first anime movie. I can't remember the name of it right now, but I do remember the one scene my boyfriend wanted me to see. In it, the main character is trying to pull off the cover to a manhole. She struggles so much against the weight of it that she literally rips away her flesh. That's kinda the way I feel right now. Only I'm not a Japanese cartoon. When I get the feeling that I want to rip my flesh away, I know I'm feeling just a tad stressed.

The new place is coming along. I picked up some used kitchen cabinets today. They're a little beat up, but they can be painted and will hold all our souvenir mugs and wine glasses. For now they are in the garage. We both hate the idea of putting money into a temporary home for us, but some things have to be done. Like making sure we have a usable toilet seat. My daily refrain is, "Whatever is cheapest, dear!" For those of you keeping track or making bets, we now have kitchen cabinets, a range, a new bath tub, and several hundred dollars' worth of interesting tools and fixtures. We still need to purchase floor coverings, window shades, toilet seats, paint, and bathroom vanities. I think we can officially move in to part of the house then.

I am, however, loving my new job and school. For now. All I know is that every time I drive through the streets, I feel an overwhelming sense that I am where I am supposed to be. That's about all I can hang my soul on these days.

I get the same feeling on our new property. I finally have a place where the world is still, except for an occasional rooster crowing or cow mooing. I'm in love with the feel of the afternoon breeze bringing in the thunderstorms. From the front porch.

The rest of my life is summed up in boxes. They surround me right now. So much still needs to be done, and it's all way too overwhelming. So overwhelming that I don't know where to start and want to go take a nap instead. Or swat a dog.
Labels:

Comments

Anonymous said…
As I read your blogs about the move, all I can think is "day by day." That is what you need to do wonder woman. It will al fall into place, and what doesn't just put under the bed or in a closet...LOL.I can't wait to hear all about school and your new students. That is something I am going to miss.
10:33 AM
Christy said…
Mmmmmm. Roosters and cows and stillness. I do love how that sounds. And I know that feeling - the one of being right where you're supposed to be. It makes the work ahead do-able.
6:44 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pardon the Interruption

It's 10:00. My race clothes are laying across the top of the dog crate. I've already consumed my all-natural sleep aid. The alarm is set for 4:45 in the morning. I should be sleeping, but my mind is spinning at an unnatural rate. Remember this poem ? The subject of that poem married just a few weeks ago, and I just finished looking through his wedding photos. It's a strange feeling. Not one of loss. Or Regret. Or even wistfulness. I'm thoroughly happy for both of them in a way that will seriously not make sense to most of the people I know. I suppose there will always be an odd sense of knowing in a situation like this. I know the feel of those lips. I've seen that look in his eyes. What I felt for him was real and pure and drives the feeling of satisfaction that is currently overwhelming me. I love knowing that he's in love--even if it's not with me. I even saved my favorite photo to my computer because the image stirred something in me that needs to be sti...
3 comments
Read more

On Muchness

A dear friend confessed to me last night that he had lost his muchness and found it again. I confessed the same and even admitted the ridiculous series of events that recently sapped my own muchness. That little confession seemed to do wonders. It's so easy to fall out of step with myself. In fact, I do it quite naturally. Growing up in a Christian home, I took to heart the instructions to love my neighbor more than I love myself. Oh, wait! I just checked the scripture. "Love your neighbor as yourself." I may have been doing this the wrong way. I ended 2010 with the resolution that I would no longer make decisions out of fear. I am starting 2011 with the resolution to make decisions based on what I want. I've struggled with this because I've always believed that I should consider the needs and wants of others before my own. I'd like to think this is a valiant approach, but the truth is that it only leads to martyrdom...and I don't think I was given the opp...
2 comments
Read more

TMI and Tidal Waves

As usual, it's been a busy week around these parts, and none of my activities this week involved running. If my grandmother could hear at the moment and complete a sentence without hacking up a lung, she'd ask me what's wrong. I'd have to confess that my eczema has flared up in this oh-so-cold-there's-ice-on-my-car south Florida weather, and my skin is so itchy that I have bruises up and down my limbs from all the scratching I've been doing. There are some days I'm relieved to know men with calloused hands. (Before you take that last comment too seriously, remind yourself that I am writing this at 9:30 on a Friday night.) Anyway... I met up for coffee with someone last night who proved to stoke my creative juices. I'll spare you the details of the conversation, but I did have to stop him mid sentence to point out that that particular conversation will most definitely become part of "La Isla Encontrada." Fortunately, he agreed to it, and I fully...
3 comments
Read more