It's been quite a day around here. I woke up this morning and did my usual visualization/motivation activity. That just means I lie in bed with my eyes closed picturing what I want to get accomplished during the day and telling myself with all the gusto of a cheerleader, "Okay, you're going to get 3 loads of laundry done, write for 2 hours, and pay the bills today. PAY THOSE BILLS!" It's hokey, I know, but it seems to work for me.

I had one of those dreams last night that was so vivid and emotionally consuming for me that I can still picture it at noon. There's no doubt in my mind just what issues my brain was working through. They were pretty much spraypainted all over my subconsious mind. The funny thing is that I woke this morning with a new sense of hope, something I haven't felt in a long time. I don't know if it was God or just my own mind reassuring me that everything is okay, but I KNOW that it will all be okay. In fact, one part of the dream was very specific about certain issues that have bothered me lately. I know I'm not the only person who thinks about dreams and what they may or may not mean. A quick internet search for "dream meaning" proves this. Personally, I believe that dreams are a venue for our brains to play around with images, ideas, and emotions that we might normally filter out during the day. That said, I also believe they are place where God, our bodies, and o

I yelled at God the other night. I sat on my porch soaking up the damp night air and poured out my heart to Him. My frustrations and fears came gushing out amidst the sobs and gut-wrenching pain deep within my soul. The pain was physically real. At one point, I lashed out with something about how angry I was at Him. Yes, at Him. After all, He's the great creator of everything. He holds in His power the ability to anything...ANYTHING in my life. And yet, for now, he's chosen not to do one thing that I want more than anything else right now. I swear, I could see Him smile at me that knowing smile as He listened to my great display of bitching and moaning. His response was just as clear as could be. "Yeah, you're right. So if I'm the one who can do ANYTHING and knows EVERYTHING, don't you think I would if it was the right time?" This certainly was not the answer I really expected. Nor is it the one I really deserved. Yet, I can say I walked away from that exp

As I sat at my computer working on a writing project and waiting for the goose to finish his bath, I heard a bump outside. I don’t startle easily, but my dogs do, and they proceeded to go berserk, running from window to window letting me know that SOMETHING is outside. Something that could be dangerous or at least fun to sniff. There was, in fact, a couple outside. My dogs and I watched them pull out a piece of aluminum and then stomp on it until it was flattened. They folded it over. As I’m writing this, they’re trying to figure out how it will fit in their van. I gotta tell ya, that kind of ingenuity simply amazes me, and it’s one of the reasons I get so angry when someone tries to tell me the government is the only salvation for people. I come from the school of thought that if you want something, you go for it. Period. There’s always a way out there. Health insurance? My slightly overweight husband with a history of back and ear surgeries qualified for health, dental, vision, a

I am so completely in love with the public library right now. Just the thought of the place makes me blush. It is the most perfect concept ever created. Right after techno music and 400-thread count sheets. I've known for a while now that the library carries DVDs and CDs in addition to ALL THOSE BOOKS about ancient wars and alcoholic writers. I just didn't realize exactly what they had until I was frantically searching for Charlie Chaplin's "The Gold Rush" to show to my students. Today I picked up a movie they had on hold for me. (See how great this is, I can request a specific title that they have anywhere in the county. They have it waiting for me at the location I choose!) I also came home with the entire second season of "Family Ties". I sat down to watch some it a little while ago. Other than Big Bang Theory and The Office, I can't think of the last show that made me giggle quite like this one. The whole experience was such a delight. I so neede

It took me several years to finally admit it, but I struggle with depression from time to time. This was a frightening realization for me because I didn't quite understand the difference between my mother's bipolar cycles of depression and the everyday, run-of-the-mill variety. In fact, depression is considered the "common cold" of psychology/psychiatry. No one is completely immune to it, but some of us are more susceptible than others. I can't say that I've figured out the perfect solution yet. Just this morning I had one of those "just-want-to-crawl-under-the-covers-and-stay-in-bed-all-day" feelings wash over me with the first rays of the sun. Fortunately, I suspected this was coming, and last night I tool some 5-HTP before I went to bed. Here's my little pitch for this wonder product. 5-HTP helps balance the seratonin in your brain. When seratonin gets too low (like with depression), you don't sleep well. If you suffer from depression, you

I finally got around to getting some pictures off my camera to share. My car reached 200,000 miles last week. I went in last weekend to have my hair colored blonde. Um, well, it just didn't look right. My dear stylist suggested a copper glaze, and it's just perfect. I think I finally found the right red, and I think I might be able to recreate this one on my own. (Although my hair pretty much turns this color even when I just use a regular brown.) Even my dear husband said he liked the color . He just isn't that kind of man, so he must really like it. I'm also growing my hair a bit longer for now...until I decide to chop it off again. I've been on a shoe binge lately. Between the Beall's and JC Penny clearance sales, I've added a few more pairs to my collection. (The bow shoes were only $9!)

I've really been craving some Cool Cafe Blues coffee from Barnie's, and I set out to the one Barnies store in town. It just happens to be at an outlet mall, so I did my usual stop in Gap Outlet (love that store) and then popped in to the swim suit shop. I'm not picky about swimsuits. Right now I'm wearing a pair of boardshorts with a tankini top to the beach. That's perfectly fine with me, but the top is really a size too big. Every time I go in the water, I end up with breasts floating around OUTSIDE MY TOP. Getting out of the water intact takes this whole procedure that involves contorting and pulling and...well, it makes me feel like I have OCD. So as I was trying on a brown with aqua polka dots skirt/suit, I noticed a little poster on the wall. It was some sort of guide for finding the perfect suit for your body. You know, if you have a bulging stomach, look for this or long torso, look for that. That's great if you have just one body issue. I don't thin

I had a simple plan for the summer. Basically, I want to get up each morning and walk 3 miles, write for a few hours, and do some stupid little project around the house like fold the clothes in the third drawer. Um, it hasn't happened. While I was at the library Monday working on the writing project I just finished at 5 this morning, I found out my niece was going to come down for her visit that day. After a frantic house cleaning session which more resembled making sure I picked all the bras out from between the couch cushions and at least lined up my shoes by the front door, I only had 9 of my 25 articles outlined. Despite my best efforts to write in the morning before she woke, I found myself writing for six hours last night, stopping three times to set my cell phone alarm clock for 10 minute naps in my desk chair. They're done. Right now I wouldn't trade the dark circles under my eyes or that sickly feeling in my stomach. My niece had never seen the Gulf of Mexico. She

When I go to bed tonight, I'm still setting my alarm clock for 5:15 a.m. For one thing, June 2 means no more to the dogs in this house than October 15. For another, just because I'm not driving 24 miles to my classroom, doesn't mean I don't have work to do. No one tells you when you go into teaching that you have no real life from August to June. None. Being gone from 6:20-6:00 each day doesn't leave much time for scrubbing the kitchen sink (sorry Flylady ) or putting away clothes. And let's just stay away from the topic of closet space. Rest assured that I'm not a clean freak or anything (far from it). It's just that I won't be able to cook a full meal or critique Einstein's theory of relativity until I've moved the assorted boxes and crates filled with young adult novels and paper trays to somewhere other than the middle of my guest room. So even though I'm on "vacation", I already have a schedule for the week that includes ti