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Drifting in the Seas of Adolescence

My school is the zoned school for our local children’s home. I actually tried to get a job there before I started teaching, but it wasn’t meant to be. Instead, I’ve worked with several of the kids in the classroom. They are interesting children from some challenging backgrounds. Some have been placed long-term by parents who could not or would not accept the responsibility of parenting. Others are there temporarily due to parental abuse or neglect or incarceration. Still more are living their lives in a group home, waiting for adoptions that may never happen because the parents wait too long to relinquish their rights.

It’s a rough life. Many of the children there have learning disabilities and emotional handicaps that impair their ability to function in society. They struggle with learning and practicing what most of us find routine and this results in a world where physical fights abound, the meal table is a battlefield, and the question, “Is it my turn to go home yet?” hover in the air. I cannot imagine the emotional pressure of living in this environment.

And yet, these children are in my mind tonight for a different reason. I know that local business and schools “adopt” the home by giving them food and toys and clothing. They wear name brand (albeit used) clothing, own Playstations and portable DVD players and MP3 players. I’ve watched groups go through and paint the walls and plant flowers in the front yard. Honestly, I was stunned to hear about all they have there…all but a chance at a regular family.

Look into their eyes and you see the longing and the desperation. It’s not an easy thing to walk in their shoes. We take for granted the little things that our parents taught us, like “cover your mouth when you cough” and “it’s not nice to stare.” The world is a little scarier when you don’t have someone there to tell you, “everyone feels this way at 13″ and “things will get better”. What do you cling to when your anchor is missing or gone?

And so they will drift. And we will throw more “things” at them because the world is imperfect and filled with opportunists and cowards. We’re too afraid of lawsuits and hurt feelings and protecting the rights of people who choose to be indifferent. And yes, I’m being judgmental because I’m sick and tired of hearing the whine, “Why didn’t anyone do anything?” The answer isn’t pretty…and we don’t like the ugly answers.

Please, hug your kids tonight. Tell them that you’re proud of the person they are and that you believe in them. There are too many children in this world who won’t have that opportunity today or tomorrow or next week. And it’s the most important “thing” we can possibly give them.

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